Summary of "Death of the lady: where are all the real men?"

Exploring the Contemporary Sexual Marketplace: Part 1

In this first part of a two-part series, Dr. Orion Taban explores the contemporary sexual marketplace by examining its historical roots and social constructs, particularly focusing on the concepts of “ladies” and “gentlemen.”

Key Themes

Dr. Taban addresses common modern complaints from women about the scarcity of “real men” who are willing to commit, provide, and uphold chivalry. He explains that the ideas of “ladies” and “gentlemen” are not natural but socially constructed roles defined by specific behaviors within particular cultures and eras.

Historical Context

Historically, women in the sexual marketplace fell into two broad categories:

Ladies: Women who reserved sex for marriage, incentivizing men to commit and provide long-term support. This was crucial in times when women had limited rights and economic opportunities.
Prostitutes: Women who exchanged sex for short-term resources, often money. They had more personal freedom but faced social stigma.

Dr. Taban highlights that neither role is inherently better; each came with trade-offs between respectability and freedom.

The Relationship Between Ladies and Prostitutes

There has been longstanding animosity between ladies and prostitutes, rooted in economic competition and social judgment:

Ladies’ Perspective: Viewed prostitutes as threats who devalued sexual opportunity.
Prostitutes’ Perspective: Resented ladies’ perceived self-righteousness and coveted their social respectability.

Despite this tension, the two groups were interdependent:

The existence of ladies created a market where prostitutes could operate.
Prostitutes fulfilled sexual needs that ladies would not, allowing gentlemen to tolerate the constraints of courtship and marriage.

Fundamental Differences and Social Implications

Dr. Taban argues that the fundamental difference between ladies and prostitutes is the “cost” or value placed on sexual opportunity:

Ladies: “Sell” sexual opportunity for lifelong commitment and provision.
Prostitutes: “Sell” sexual opportunity for immediate compensation.

He also explains why not all women can or want to be ladies, as the behavioral restrictions and social expectations exclude some. Furthermore, a unified coalition of women demanding higher “prices” in the sexual marketplace is impractical.