Ranking Every Mario Kart Track

Video recap: “Ranking Every Mario Kart Track”

The video is a long, comedic countdown ranking Mario Kart courses. It skips retro tracks for a future video, and also excludes Mario Kart 2 and arcade spin-offs.

The host says the ranking is based on fun, creativity, replayability, and flow, repeatedly roasting tracks that are too slippery, bland, gimmicky in a bad way, or poorly designed.

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Main “plot” / structure

• The creator counts down from the worst-rated tracks (~145) to the best (1).
• Early and mid sections focus on major pain points, including:
  • Ice slipperiness (notably Vanilla Lake ice courses and Sherbet Land)
  • Generic “Mario Circuit” clones
  • Bad layouts (dead ends, sharp/awkward turns, annoyingly narrow roads)
  • Gimmicks that ruin flow (e.g., screen shaking, constant split-road forced decisions)
• Later sections shift toward tracks with more celebrated creativity and variety, especially those that feature:
  • strong themes
  • multiple routes/shortcuts
  • impressive visuals
  • hazards that feel fair (or at least entertaining)

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Highlights & biggest jokes/reactions

The “Worst track” moment

• SNES Bowser’s Castle 2 is called out for a dead-end turn where you can fall into lava.
• The host delivers a mock outrage, asking what purpose it serves, and describes it as an “epic troll.”

Ice and slipperiness roasting spree

Multiple ice/snow courses get criticized for being:

• borderline unplayable (e.g., GameCube Sherbet Land)
• or simply annoying due to screen shake and difficulty without a fun payoff (including references to other snow/ice courses like SNES/other “Snow Land”).

The framing stays consistent: it’s not “ice is bad,” but rather “why is this so slippery?”

Mario Circuit “clone” fatigue

• Several Mario Circuit tracks are dismissed as mostly the same, with only minor differences.
• The host’s tone implies: yes it’s classic… but compared to everything else, it’s bland.

Forced-chaos/traffic tracks get love

Mid-to-late ranking praise goes to courses that create thrilling danger, such as:

• Toad’s Turnpike (traffic pressure and weirdly deadly cars)
• Mushroom Bridge / Mushroom City (creative traffic with strange vehicles)
• Moonview Highway (cars driving without signals—joking that the game is “setting a bad example”)

Theme tracks praised for immersion/creativity

Standout compliments include:

• Animal Crossing: seasons changing mid/each run
• Calamari Desert: a “lost and isolated” vibe plus a train-themed end segment
• Shroom Ridge: described almost like a road trip—comfy but effective
• DS/3DS/other major gimmick tracks: praised when mechanics actually support the theme (e.g., anti-gravity used well, split routes that truly matter, etc.)

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The top-tier climax (Top 10 emphasis)

As the countdown nears the end, the host shifts from nitpicking to hype:

• #2 Tick-Tock Clock: praised for its clock-piece structure (gears/minutes) and mystical music.

• #1 Waluigi Pinball: treated like an unavoidable winner—“Waluigi freaking pinball.” Emphasis is placed on:

  • the pinball-machine feel
  • music and exclusive item sound effects
  • constant excitement

Other near-top favorites include:

• 3DS Rainbow Road (planets + tube segment; “no limits” energy)
• Big Blue / Mute City (massive boosts and turns; “even crazier”)
• Mount Wario (more adventure-like variety than just racing)
• Coconut Mall (literal mall recreation, escalator shortcuts, and parking chaos; “drivers don’t watch” joke)
• Music Park (music notes integrated into the track visuals)

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Ending note

The video ends with a thank-you to viewers and a question about which Mario Kart tracks they personally think are best, after which the host rests/sleeps.

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Personalities appearing (if identifiable)

• The main YouTube host/commentator (one consistent narrator delivering most jokes and reactions)
• No other distinct speaking characters are presented; other “personalities” appear only in-universe (e.g., Waluigi, Bowser), not as separate voices.