Summary of HARVARD negotiators explain: How to get what you want every time

Main Ideas and Concepts:

• Negotiation Philosophy:
  • Negotiation is not about winning or losing; it's about finding solutions that satisfy both parties without harming relationships.
  • Focusing on who is winning indicates a failure in negotiation.
• Examples Illustrating Negotiation Principles:
  • Window Argument: A librarian resolves a conflict by finding a solution that satisfies both parties.
  • Cake Sharing: One person cuts the cake while the other chooses first to ensure fairness.
  • Orange Dispute: Two kids want an orange, but understanding their underlying needs could lead to both getting what they want.

Four-Step Framework for Effective Negotiation:

• Focus on Interests, Not Positions:
  • Understand the underlying interests of both parties rather than fixating on specific positions.
  • Communicate openly about interests to foster understanding and collaboration.
• Use Fair Standards:
  • Apply objective criteria to resolve conflicts instead of personal opinions.
  • Establish fair standards together with the other party to guide negotiations.
• Invent Options for Mutual Gain:
  • Brainstorm creative solutions that address the interests of both parties.
  • Encourage open idea generation without immediate judgment to explore all possibilities.
• Separate People from the Problem:
  • Prioritize the relationship with the other party while addressing the negotiation issue.
  • Build rapport before negotiations to facilitate smoother discussions.

Handling Difficult Situations:

• Dealing with Dirty Tactics:
  • Recognize and address manipulative tactics openly without personal attacks.
• Facing Power Imbalances:
  • Develop a Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) to enhance negotiation power.
• Responding to Personal Attacks:
  • Use negotiation Jujitsu to sidestep personal attacks and redirect the conversation to interests.

Conclusion:

The essence of negotiation lies in collaboration and mutual satisfaction rather than competition. The anecdote of a father and son playing frisbee illustrates that focusing on winning detracts from the true goal of achieving a harmonious solution.

Speakers:

• William Ury
• Roger Fisher

Notable Quotes

— 00:20 — « If you're asking who is winning, you've already lost. »

— 11:21 — « The real goal is working together and finding a solution that satisfies both sides' interests. »

Category

Educational

Video