Summary of "Top 10 Pieces of Dating Advice From 3 Years of Hosting Dating Intentionally"

Summary of Key Wellness Strategies, Self-Care Techniques, and Productivity Tips

From Top 10 Pieces of Dating Advice From 3 Years of Hosting Dating Intentionally

1. Date According to Your Own Rules

You have full autonomy to date in a way that feels authentic to you.
Be a decent human to yourself and others.
Examples include splitting the bill or not, kissing on the first date or not, dating within or outside your religion, using apps or avoiding them, dating many or few people.
Experiment to discover what aligns with your values and comfort.
Authenticity attracts the right partner.

2. Manifestation Can Help When Combined with Action

Writing down or externalizing what you want in a partner can clarify your desires.
Manifestation alone isn’t enough; it must be paired with intentional actions.
Be clear about how you want to feel and what qualities you need in a relationship.
Use tools like lists, voice memos, or even sharing your desires publicly to set intentions.

3. Heal Your Attachment Wounds to Change Your “Picker”

Repeatedly choosing unavailable or unhealthy partners often reflects unresolved attachment wounds.
Focus inward to understand and heal these patterns.
Therapy and self-work can shift who you’re attracted to and how you relate.
Recognize when you try to fix partners or hope they’ll change, and address these tendencies.

4. Adjust Your Expectations

Expectations often cause disappointment and prevent seeing people clearly.
Drop preconceived notions and allow people to show up as they truly are.
Acceptance means loving someone for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Unspoken expectations create silent tests that undermine trust and authenticity.

5. Your Dating Journey is Unique and Valid

There is no “right” timeline for finding love or starting a family.
People find love at all ages and life circumstances.
Trust your own timeline and be inspired by diverse stories of love found later in life or through unconventional paths.

6. Be Ready to Talk About Sex Before Having It

Open communication about sex, likes, boundaries, and safety is essential.
Talking about sex leads to better, safer, and more comfortable experiences.
Don’t rush into sex if you’re not ready to discuss these topics.
This also supports conscious decisions about intimacy and protects emotional well-being.

7. Don’t Chase the Spark

Instant attraction (“spark”) is not a reliable indicator of long-term relationship success.
Many meaningful relationships develop over time without immediate chemistry.
Give people a few dates to see if a deeper connection develops.

8. Practice Mindfulness and Use the Power of the Pause

Learn to pause before reacting emotionally or making decisions.
This helps prevent anxiety-driven actions and overreactions.
Validate your feelings but don’t let them control your choices.
Emotional maturity involves recognizing feelings as information, not commands.

9. People Act Based on Who They Are, Not Because of You

Others’ behaviors are reflections of their own experiences, fears, and patterns.
Don’t take actions personally or blame yourself.
This perspective builds resilience and reduces unnecessary self-blame.
Evaluate if their behavior is something you want to accept long term.

10. Choose Yourself and Your Values Over Wanting to Be Chosen

Center your dating life around your needs and values.
Avoid compromising or settling to be chosen by someone else.
Being the chooser empowers you to walk away from mismatches and maintain peace.
Reframe rejection as clarity, not loss.
This approach makes dating more enjoyable and aligned with self-love.

Additional Community-Shared Advice Highlights

Date outside your usual “type” to explore new possibilities.
Focus on whether you like the person, not whether they like you.
Understand that choosing a partner means choosing the challenges that come with them.
Give people another date if unsure.
Treat early dates as low-stakes meetups, not immediate relationship commitments.
Keep your dating profile updated to stay active and attract better matches.
Remember you don’t have to be “fully healed” to date successfully.

Presenters / Sources

Talia (Host of Dating Intentionally)
Guests mentioned (episodes referenced for deeper learning):
- Sade Curry (Ep. 52)
- Jeff Gunther (Therapy Jeff) (Ep. 141)
- Sabrina Zohar (Ep. 137)
- Dr. Jenny Young (Ep. 167)
- Maria (Matchmaker) (Ep. 175)
- Louise Rumball (Ep. 171)
- Caroline Winkler (Ep. 185)
- Claire Qui (Ep. 163)
- Natalie Kennedy (Ep. 153)
- Deona Hoffman (Ep. 54)
- Todd Barrett (Ep. 90)
- Julie and UA from Datable (Ep. 143)
- Jackie Glazer (Ep. 68)
- Tiffany Chung (Ep. 64)
- Sarah (Listener) (Ep. 100)
- Ally Jackson (Ep. 161)
- Vanessa and Xander Marin (Ep. 123)
- Claire Pearlman (Ep. 66)
- Ella Dawson (Ep. 104)
- Britt Frank (Ep. 173)
- Dr. Caroline Leaf (Ep. 187)
- Adam Lane Smith (Ep. 125)
- Ricky Close (Ep. 48)
- Julie Manano (Ep. 40)
- Dr. Morgan (Ep. 116)

This summary encapsulates the core dating advice and mindset shifts shared over three years of the Dating Intentionally podcast, emphasizing self-awareness, authenticity, emotional maturity, and empowerment in the dating journey.