Summary of "Why Can't I Just Get Over A Narcissist?"
Key Wellness Strategies and Self-Care Techniques for Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Understand Trauma and Its Impact
Narcissistic abuse often results in complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), where traumatic memories become “stuck.” This causes present-day triggers to provoke fight, flight, or freeze responses.
Practice Self-Kindness and Reduce Self-Criticism
Avoid harsh inner criticism and guilt for feeling stuck or struggling to move on. Instead, practice self-compassion by understanding that your brain and body are trying to keep you safe.
Educate Yourself About the Brain and Body’s Trauma Response
Learning about how the autonomic nervous system works can help facilitate healing:
- The sympathetic nervous system triggers fight or flight responses.
- The parasympathetic nervous system includes the vagus nerve with two branches:
- Dorsal vagus: associated with shutdown/freeze responses.
- Ventral vagus: related to social engagement, facial expressions, and connection.
Recognize the Roles of Fight, Flight, and Freeze
- The freeze response is like minimal “utilities” running in a house—keeping you barely functioning.
- Fight or flight is like a house security system activating to protect you.
- Social engagement (ventral vagus) promotes connection, joy, and safety.
Acknowledge That Trauma Responses Are Protective
Your reactions—such as anger, withdrawal, or dissociation—are your brain’s way of coping and trying to keep you safe, not a sign of weakness or failure.
Avoid Living in Chronic Dysregulation
Prolonged fight, flight, or freeze states can cause physical health issues, including:
- Autoimmune disorders
- Digestive problems
- Thyroid issues
- Liver problems
- Inflammation
- Pain and migraines
Aim to Regulate Your Nervous System
Healing involves moving from constant trauma response states toward calm, regulated states where social engagement and connection can flourish.
Presenter
Caroline Strawson Transformational Therapist and EMDR Practitioner
Category
Wellness and Self-Improvement
