Summary of "She Asked Herself This Question & Everything Shifted:A DisruptHer Self-Interview 3-Part Series EP 64"
Episode overview
Selena (the transformational teacher / Disruptor Coach) interviews herself in a raw, wide-ranging conversation aimed at women who do everything for everyone except themselves — “Miss I got time for everything except myself.” She shares her life story, how she shows up (connector, healer, teacher, warrior, entrepreneur, mother), the calling that led her to become a holistic coach, and the practical routines, mindset shifts and self-care habits that changed her life.
The episode frames coaching as teaching women how to “fish”: reclaim time, identity and power. It models concrete daily and weekly practices, boundaries, and frameworks that support healing, productivity and freedom.
“Miss I got time for everything except myself.”
Key wellness strategies and practices
Reclaim time and practice time freedom
- Treat time as a non-renewable currency — decide consciously how to spend it.
- Schedule time blocks for your needs (example: Sundays as a self-care day / Sabbath).
- Put desired activities on your calendar (e.g., golf, roller-skating) so they actually happen.
Build a self-care ritual (Self-Love Care)
- Self-Love Care = self-love + self-care.
- Weekly rituals: baths, laundry, meal prep, rest, and other preparations that help you show up for the week.
- Create a “war room” or prayer/reflective space to do inner work and listen inwardly.
Boundaries and saying “no”
- Practice saying “No.” — use “No.” as a full, acceptable sentence to protect your energy.
- Remove expectations and “shoulds” when trying new roles or projects.
- Protect capacity: don’t over-extend or show up when your energy is low.
Identity, healing, and inner work
- Invest in coaching or therapy to rediscover self and clarify vision (Selena credits getting a life coach for her transformation).
- Use reframes to change internal language (example: “I can’t recall” instead of repeatedly saying “I don’t remember”).
- Work on healing across emotional, physical, spiritual and financial domains (Selena’s framework: H = healing; I = identity).
Slow down and restorative hobbies
- Take classes that force focus (Selena learned sewing to stop multitasking and pay attention).
- Learn skills that increase confidence and joy: swimming, golf, roller skating, etc.
- Use hobbies to slow the mind and reconnect with yourself.
Energy and capacity management
- Only show up when you have the energy/capacity; energy matters for integrity and results.
- Delegate or pay for tasks you don’t want to do (Selena pays others for household work).
- Recognize chronic health limits (invisible illness) and plan activities accordingly.
Community, witness and accountability
- Build a circle of supportive friends and mentors who will both hold and celebrate you.
- Share your work and ask people to help spread the message — use your squad.
- Use short coaching or clarity calls (e.g., 15-minute “power & presence preview” calls) for quick breakthroughs and research.
Practical productivity approaches & mindset
- Treat life as an experiment: try things, learn from data, then adjust or stop based on what you learn.
- Teach people how to fish: give tools and structures for long-term change rather than quick fixes.
- Prioritize work that aligns with your calling and values instead of maintaining the status quo.
- Keep hands open (spiritually/metaphorically) — be ready to give and to receive.
Health and chronic-illness considerations
- Acknowledge invisible pain and scars: many people with chronic conditions are misunderstood.
- Advocate for your care, pace activities, and get appropriate medical and spiritual support.
- Use storytelling and sharing to normalize experience and access resources/help.
Simple starter assignments Selena suggests
- Start practicing “No.” immediately (use it as a complete sentence).
- Write down how you want to feel and what freedom looks like to you.
- Build a weekly self-care block (start with one dedicated day or half-day).
- Consider investing in coaching or a short clarity call to get direction.
Programs, tools and frameworks mentioned
- Selena’s Self-Love Care framework: S = self-love care; H = healing; I = identity; T = time freedom
- Coaching certifications / communities: Hello Seven; Rachel Rogers’ business certification
- CliftonStrengths (reference to the “woo” strength)
- Midwest Way (Selena’s social-enterprise vision / branded mission)
- Queen of Faith / sacred woman rites of passage (personal development ritual)
Presenters and sources referenced
- Selena (Selena Kelly / Selena Whitmore) — transformational teacher, Disruptor Coach, host and interviewee
- Yaya Smith — feminine success coach / teacher
- Courtney Teasley — coaching sister, Hello Seven cohort
- Rachel Rogers — Selena’s coach / business mentor
- Arlan / Arland Hamilton — mentor referenced
- Mother Joy — spiritual guide Selena met in Sedona
- Edith — spiritual mother
- Andrea — best friend / colleague; CliftonStrengths collaborator
- Angie — cousin and close supporter
- Ivonne — client testimonial referenced
- ChatGBT — used by Selena to generate interview questions
- ROI / National Urban League conference — events where Selena participated
How coaching is framed
- Coaching = teaching women how to fish: building tools, habits and structures for reclaimed time and identity rather than offering only short-term fixes.
- The work centers on practical, repeatable practices (daily and weekly) plus inner work and community support to sustain change.
Category
Wellness and Self-Improvement
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