Summary of "6 Things to Watch Out for During Court Battles with a Narcissist"

Overview

Attorney Rebecca Zhang explains six common tactics narcissists use in court battles and how to defend against them. She warns that once a narcissist feels discarded they often become adversarial and will use manipulation, deceit, and the legal system to intimidate, harass, and force a bad settlement. With the right mindset, documentation, strategy, and leverage you can anticipate their moves and win.

“Once discarded, a narcissist often becomes adversarial and will use manipulation, deceit, and the legal system to intimidate, harass, and force a bad settlement.”

Six things to watch for (and how to respond)

Fake amicability to force early settlement
- Tactic: They act friendly and tell you you don’t need a lawyer to trick you into signing away rights or settling quickly.
- Defense: Do not agree to sign or negotiate alone. Retain counsel or at minimum consult an attorney before making agreements.
Playing dirty in pleadings and orders
- Tactic: Expect lies or misrepresentations in court documents and even blatant ignoring of court orders.
- Defense: Monitor filings closely, respond promptly through counsel, and document any violations for the court.
False threats and scare tactics
- Tactic: Threats without legal basis (taking kids, losing your home) intended to intimidate.
- Defense: Fact-check claims, seek legal advice, and treat many threats as bullying rather than legitimate legal moves.
Manipulating or withholding evidence
- Tactic: Altering texts/photos, hiding discovery, moving money.
- Defense: Use tamper-resistant communications (email, court-approved apps), preserve metadata/time stamps, and organize/secure evidence immediately.
Using the court as a sword
- Tactic: Filing frivolous or excessive motions to increase your costs and stress, pressuring you into a bad settlement.
- Defense: Keep calm, push back through proper motions and discovery requests, and focus on cost-effective strategies with your attorney.
Smear campaigns and “flying monkeys”
- Tactic: Recruiting others (sometimes even children) to attack your reputation and bolster the narcissist’s story.
- Defense: Preserve evidence of coordinated attacks, limit off-record communications, and address defamation through counsel when appropriate.

Practical advice

Don’t be rushed into settling; retain counsel or at least consult one for strategy and fact-checking.
Gather and preserve clear, time-stamped evidence; organize documentation and keep backups.
Get leverage early (Rebecca references a separate discussion on building leverage).
Expect predictable patterns; plan strategy around them. Rebecca teaches this framework in her SLEIGH program:
- Strategy
- Leverage
- Anticipate
- Focus on You
Maintain a winning mindset — organization, preparedness, and belief you can win are essential.