Summary of "When HELPING Becomes HARMFUL: Intolerance of Uncertainty"

Key Wellness Strategies, Self-Care Techniques, and Productivity Tips

Understanding Overprotecting as Intolerance of Uncertainty

Overprotecting loved ones is a form of intolerance of uncertainty driven by a desire to control outcomes and reduce anxiety. This behavior often manifests as doing things for others to ensure their safety and success, thereby reducing unpredictability.

Problems with Overprotecting Others

Consumes your time and energy, reducing your efficiency in managing your own tasks.
Prevents the other person from developing competence, confidence, and independence.
Fosters anxiety based on the assumption that without your control, bad outcomes will occur.
Can lead to exhaustion and dependency in relationships.

Behavioral Experiments to Build Tolerance for Uncertainty

To increase tolerance for uncertainty, try the following steps:

Identify specific tasks you usually do for others and delegate them gradually.
Formulate worry-based predictions about what might happen when you let go of control.
Test these predictions by allowing the other person to take responsibility (e.g., letting a child pick their own clothes).
Collect data on what actually happens versus what you feared.
Compare outcomes to your predictions to evaluate the accuracy of your worries.
Use this evidence to reduce anxiety and increase willingness to delegate and let others handle their own responsibilities.

Daily Practice to Increase Uncertainty Tolerance

Keep the question in mind:

“If I were more tolerant of uncertainty, what would I do in this situation?”

This mindset helps you recognize when you are overprotecting and encourages letting go. Regularly practicing this approach builds confidence in both yourself and the people you care about.