Summary of Watch this if you feel like you’re behind in life
The video discusses the common feeling of being "behind" in life, particularly in comparison to others. It explores the concept of mimetic desire, as outlined in Luke Burgess's book, which refers to the tendency to desire what others desire, leading to feelings of inadequacy and failure. Here are the key wellness strategies, self-care techniques, and productivity tips shared in the video:
Key Strategies and Tips
- Understanding mimetic desire: Recognize that feelings of inadequacy often stem from comparing ourselves to others, particularly those in our immediate social circles (friends, colleagues) rather than celebrities.
- Identify Thick vs. Thin Desires:
- Thick Desires: Deeply rooted desires that provide lasting fulfillment and have been part of your identity for a long time.
- Thin Desires: Surface-level desires influenced by others' aspirations that may not align with your true self.
- journaling prompts: Reflect on your desires with questions like:
- Who influences what you want?
- What goals have you adopted because someone else wanted them?
- Which achievements make you feel behind?
- Recognize Your Michelin Stars: Identify personal benchmarks of success that may not align with your authentic desires. Ask yourself:
- Are these measures aligned with my thick desires?
- Which ones would I let go of if they conflicted with what truly matters to me?
- Set Boundaries with Unhealthy Models:
- Digital Boundaries: Unfollow or mute social media accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy.
- Mental Boundaries: Pause to assess whether your feelings of being behind are due to authentic desires or external influences.
- Physical Boundaries: Limit time spent with individuals who evoke jealousy or unhealthy comparisons.
- Create Positive Flywheels of Desire: Cultivate momentum around your authentic desires. For example, pursuing a fitness goal can lead to healthier eating and more productive habits, creating a cycle of positive reinforcement.
- Focus on Authentic Goals: Shift the focus from merely achieving goals to selecting meaningful ones that resonate with your true self, reducing feelings of inadequacy.
Presenters/Sources
- Luke Burgess (author of "Wanting: The Power of mimetic desire in Everyday Life")
- The video creator (not explicitly named in the subtitles)
Notable Quotes
— 01:06 — « The obsession we have with goal setting is misguided, even counterproductive. »
— 08:17 — « The important thing to recognize here is that the things that we want shape the goals that we aspire to. »
— 15:21 — « We can easily find ourselves like a French chef wanting Stars, marks of status and Prestige, Badges of Honor. »
— 17:30 — « The choices we make today affect the things we'll want tomorrow. »
— 18:26 — « When we focus on our thick desires, the ones that have been with us for years, then that feeling of falling behind starts to go away. »
Category
Wellness and Self-Improvement