Summary of "Илья Деревянко: православный паладин - мракобесие, извращения, бесконтакт"

Quick recap

Hook: The reviewer watched the film Children vs. Wizards and kept thinking the movie’s blunt, sermonizing style felt exactly like Ilya Derevyanko’s prose. He outlines why Derevyanko couldn’t have written the script, yet would have written something indistinguishable.
Core impression: Derevyanko is presented as a prolific pulp/action writer whose work is recognizable more for formulaic bravado, shock gore, and an ideological agenda than for craft.

Core claim

The reviewer argues Derevyanko is a pulp/action writer of the 1990s–2000s defined by:

Formulaic bravado and repetitive character templates.
Gratuitous shock, gore, and sexualized violence delivered deadpan.
A strong ideological agenda (orthodox-fanatical, monarchist, xenophobic, conspiratorial).
High output but little literary skill — labeled a graphomaniac.

What stands out (highlights and memorable bits)

Repetitive hero template:
- Tall, muscular Slav protagonists with interchangeable descriptions of eyes, hair, and shoulders.
- The reviewer jokes you “could swap the heroes and nothing would change,” treating the cataloguing of physical features as lazy copy-paste characterization.
Cardboard villains:
- Enemies are stock types — “monstrous Chechens,” “gypsies,” “liberal perverts,” Satanists — reduced to one-dimensional caricatures.
- Political prejudice drives character design more than plausibility.
Grotesque gore presented with deadpan laconicism:
- Long lurid scenes of mutilation and sexualized violence are listed clinically.
- Reactions in-text are either theatrically overblown or emotionally absent, making the gore feel gratuitous and voyeuristic rather than affecting.
Cringe comic moments and stock dialogue:
- Clumsy attempts at irony, melodramatic “gnashing of teeth,” awkward schoolgirl sulking juxtaposed with hardened veterans.
- Blow-by-blow fight descriptions read like bloated, pedestrian choreography rather than cinematic action.
Horror + slasher shortcuts:
- Promising horror setups collapse into slasher mechanics where inventive kills replace character development and atmosphere, producing cheap shocks instead of meaningful horror.
Conspiracist, politicized agenda:
- Fiction is saturated with anti-liberal, monarchist, xenophobic, and apocalyptic conspiracies: Freemasons, Zionists, microchips/Antichrist, secret world governments, Lenin “sapping Russia’s energy,” etc.
- Orthodoxy is treated as mythic armor against imagined satanic plots; the reviewer finds this propaganda-like preaching destroys creative potential.
Mysticism and quackery:
- Magicians, Satanists, “bioenergetic healers,” and literal demons that impersonate relatives appear seriously; supernatural explanations are treated as literal facts rather than ideas to be explored.

Style failures (practical problems)

Sloppy narration: mixing bureaucratic and colloquial registers.
Excess “water”: over-description of fights and physical details.
Thinly justified thoughts and actions.
Sudden meta asides that break narrative logic.
Overall signs that sermonizing and sensationalism are prioritized over craft.

Funny / sarcastic lines and tone

The reviewer compares Derevyanko to Chuck Norris and the Asylum studio — shorthand for pulp spectacle.
Recurring joke about “all these eyes, hair, muscles” as interchangeable, copy-paste character sketches.
Mocking metaphors: moralizing prose likened to sermonizing with an axe; some passages called “fanfic-level” obsession with sex/violence.
Tone alternates between disgusted incredulity and dark humor, imagining Derevyanko as a 90s product of chaos who retreated into conspiracy and mysticism.

“All these eyes, hair, muscles” “Fanfic-level obsession with sex/violence” Moralizing prose like “sermonizing with an axe”

Balance and closing points

Concessions: The reviewer acknowledges Derevyanko showed some early potential (useful bodyguard/crime details; a few interesting plots).
Criticism: That potential was stifled by ideology and lazy habits, preventing real artistic growth.
Final judgment: Derevyanko is a prolific pulp author turned propagandist — vivid for some readers but artistically bankrupt — representative of a 90s-era cultural residue the reviewer hopes will fade.
Link to film comparison: The reviewer sees the same flaws in Children vs. Wizards (shallow characters, xenophobia, poor grasp of Orthodox faith), which motivated the initial comparison.

Notable names / personalities mentioned

Ilya (Ilya Valerievich) Derevyanko — main subject (author)
Dmitry Korsakov / Major Korsakov — recurring fictional hero
Mikhail Ryabkov — leader of the “Systema” non-contact combat school (praised by Derevyanko)
Hieromonk Anatoly Berestov — Orthodox critic of Derevyanko
Igor Girkin — referenced as source of similar caricatured villains
Alexander (Chubais), Boris (Berezovsky), Vladimir (Yeltsin), Alexei Navalny — political references
Vanga, Jim Morrison, Alice Cooper — cultural figures evoked in conspiratorial claims