how i stopped existing and started actually living

Feeling More Present

The presenter reflects on moving from merely functioning through a predictable routine to feeling more present in her own life. She describes “feeling alive” not as a dramatic adventure, but as being fully engaged in an ordinary moment—having an honest conversation, taking the long way home, or watching the sunrise without reaching for her phone.

Routine and emotional self-protection can make life feel safe but numb. Being present also means accepting vulnerability and the possibility of loneliness, disappointment, or change. Noticing the distance between yourself and your experience is a first step toward closing it.

Strategies She Is Trying

• Notice when you feel on autopilot. Awareness of the gap between yourself and your life is a starting point, even if it doesn’t immediately fix anything.
• Choose presence over comfort sometimes. She tries to say yes to things that scare her a little, especially when her first impulse is to cancel.
• Make room for unplanned experiences. A spontaneous invitation, a longer walk, or staying a little later can create opportunities for connection and discovery.
• Be fully in the moment. Put away distractions and resist turning an experience into something to document, optimize, or perform.
• Allow some vulnerability. Meaningful connection and emotional aliveness involve taking risks rather than always insulating yourself from discomfort.
• Aim for more “gaps” and less “fine.” She wants a life with more openness and awake, engaged moments—not simply a more efficient routine.

She acknowledges that she has not figured it all out, and that trying to make room for these moments is enough for now.

Presenter/source: Lindsiann (video narrator).