How Paranoid Schizophrenia Impacts My Life

Summary

Allie Burke describes living with paranoid schizophrenia, including auditory hallucinations, seeing shadows, fear of being poisoned, and anxiety about people standing behind her. Medication has reduced some symptoms, but paranoia and occasional voices remain. Stress and feeling overwhelmed can worsen her symptoms, while fatigue from nighttime medication makes early mornings difficult.

Despite these challenges, she works at a nonprofit, writes, and collaborates on projects with others who have schizophrenia. She discusses how long it took to find a helpful medication combination and the importance of insurance and access to care. She also shares that she has experienced severe depression and suicide attempts in the past, and expresses gratitude to the people who helped her.

Wellness and coping approaches

• Medication management: She takes prescribed medications in the morning and at night. Finding a helpful combination involved years of trying different medications with a psychiatrist.
• Managing morning demands: She sets several alarms to help herself get up for work, though medication-related tiredness can still make mornings difficult.
• Noticing personal triggers: She has identified stress and feeling overwhelmed as factors that can worsen her symptoms.
• Making practical adjustments for paranoia: In restaurants, she prefers a booth or a seat against a wall and tries to keep her drink in view. These accommodations help her feel safer, even though she recognizes that the fear may not be rational.
• Connecting with peers: Online connections and conversations with other people who have schizophrenia help reduce isolation and provide a sense of understanding. She is also working on a book about shared experiences.
• Leaning on supportive relationships: Her father, boyfriend, friends, and others who intervened during past crises have been important sources of support.
• Spending time with animals and outdoors: She finds comfort in being around the animals and flowers at her childhood home, especially on difficult days.
• Balancing commitments: She juggles nonprofit work, writing, and collaborative projects, while acknowledging that she often has more to do than time available.
• Caution about vaping or smoking: She mentions seeing information suggesting these might reduce antipsychotic side effects, but says she does not know how conclusive that information is.

Presenters or sources

• Allie (Ally) Burke — featured subject and narrator
• VICE — video publisher and source of the interview footage