I Work at the World’s Oldest Halloween Store. We Have ONE RULE.

Summary

Evan Gallow takes a job at Treasures of the Sea, a year-round novelty shop that claims to be the world’s oldest Halloween store. Its eccentric owner, Captain Saltwick, dresses like a pirate, pays Evan in silver coins, and punctuates nearly every sentence with “Arr.” The shop’s one rule—“Be careful what you ask for”—initially seems like spooky decoration. Evan soon learns it’s practical advice.

The store’s merchandise is genuinely supernatural. Finch, a life-size skeleton in a sailor’s cap, wanders around sweeping, carrying boxes, and helping customers. He never speaks, but communicates with pointed gestures—and has little patience for anyone who treats him like a prop. The Halloween pumpkins glow, move on their own, and need to be fed raw meat. One nearly snaps at a customer, while another finds a loving new home with a widow who wants some company.

Other items are more dangerous. A candle lets its owner see the dead, and customer Owen Jones discovers a crowd of spirits gathered silently around his family—including one leaning over his daughter. When Evan lights the candle too, the spirits appear in the store. Captain Saltwick calmly confronts them and escorts them out, revealing that his pirate act may be more than an act. He later visits Owen’s house and reaches an agreement with whatever is there.

A flying broom gives 79-year-old Mrs. Bell the chance to fulfill a childhood dream. Her first flight is joyful—she laughs as she rises above the rooftops—but she keeps climbing until she disappears into the clouds. She never returns, and the next day the news reports that she fell to her death. Evan takes down the sign advertising broom demonstrations.

The most unsettling choice comes on Halloween, when eight-year-old Dexter asks to buy a werewolf mask because older boys have been bullying him. Evan tries to steer him toward a protective knight’s mask or an invisibility mask, but Dexter doesn’t want to hide—he wants his tormentors to be afraid. Evan explains the werewolf mask’s ravenous instincts and warns him that taking it off won’t undo what he does while wearing it. Captain Saltwick insists Dexter should be allowed to choose once he understands the risks.

Dexter returns the next day with the mask in a paper bag and a calm account of how he chased the bullies, injured two, and clawed Russell’s face. He says he remembered Evan’s warning and removed the mask before things went further. His matter-of-fact admission that he might be “a little” psycho is a grimly funny moment. Captain Saltwick takes the mask to deal with the danger of Russell’s wounds, and Russell recovers. Dexter later visits again, this time with a drawing for Finch.

Evan remains at the store, still warning customers before they buy its strange wares. The story’s dark humor—especially Saltwick’s tireless pirate talk and Finch’s silent housekeeping—sits alongside the reminder that the shop’s wonders can have real consequences.

Key Personalities

• Evan Gallow: The new employee and narrator.
• Captain Saltwick: The pirate-like store owner.
• Finch: The helpful skeleton.
• Owen Jones: The customer seeking proof of ghosts.
• Mrs. Bell: The broom buyer.
• Dexter: The bullied boy who buys the werewolf mask.
• Russell: The bully.