10 Ways The Narcissist Provokes You Online

Online Provocation

The presenter, HG Tudor, describes online behaviors he characterizes as narcissistic provocation: actions intended to prompt a reaction and maintain a sense of control. He identifies ten examples:

1. Posting photos with a new partner to provoke jealousy or draw an ex back into contact.
2. Posting negative comments or smears in the hope that the targeted person will see them and respond.
3. Liking or commenting on other people’s posts to create a sense of competition or triangulation.
4. Denying being online despite an active-status indicator, then disputing what the other person observed.
5. Denying that someone has been blocked and blaming the other person’s device or connection instead.
6. Having many attractive, opposite-sex online friends to imply that someone could be replaced and prompt questions or reassurance-seeking.
7. Keeping a phone’s lock screen free of notifications so others cannot see who is contacting them, while making the secrecy noticeable.
8. Having a device automatically connect to a place the person claims never to have visited, then denying any explanation.
9. Posting cryptic timeline messages that seem directed at someone but can be dismissed as unrelated.
10. Posting inspirational or “empowerment” memes that may indirectly criticize or provoke someone while allowing the poster to deny they were targeted.

Self-Protection Advice

The presenter recommends maintaining no contact and avoiding a former partner’s social-media feeds:

“If you don’t look, you won’t know.”

His broader advice is to recognize possible bait and avoid responding, since a reaction may invite further engagement.