Give Me 23 Minutes And I'lL Make You Extremely Confident

Key wellness / confidence strategies from the video

1) Reframe the source of low confidence (stop “running reps” on insecurity)

• Treat unconfidence as a learned pattern you practice daily, similar to sports.
  • If you only “dribble” one way, you’ll struggle when you switch.
• Identify which “confidence problem” you fall into and address it directly.

2) Diagnose the main confidence problems (and the common fix: reps)

The speaker breaks unconfidence into categories and repeatedly emphasizes repetition (getting reps) as the cure.

Low self-feeling / self-worth issues

• Stop harmful comparison to others.
• Reduce reliance on compliments/validation.
• Improve controllables: fashion, body, grooming, hygiene.
• Stop self-negative talk.
• Keep promises to yourself: self-trust builds confidence.

Scared to approach or talk to people

• Don’t make rejection personal—others have their own situations.
• Separate possible causes:
  • Worry about judgment, or
  • Performance anxiety.
• Solution: get reps
  • Start small conversations with strangers.
  • Practice eye contact.
  • Use gradual exposure so it gets easier.

Scared of being seen or judged

• Practice “being noticed”:
  • Wear what you want.
  • Post yourself.
  • Speak up and share opinions.
  • Go places alone to retrain your brain that attention ≠ danger.

Scared of failure or rejection

• Redefine “winning”:
  • The win isn’t getting the outcome (e.g., number/approval).
  • The win is trying anyway: “ask anyway, apply anyway, post anyway.”
• Accept that you may look stupid sometimes—don’t let one outcome define you.

3) Appearance: use it to support confidence (not as the whole solution)

• Looks do matter for confidence, but you don’t need to become extreme.
• Concrete appearance tactics:
  • Fashion
    • Wear clothes that fit your proportions and make you feel like yourself.
    • Experiment to find your style.
  • Body / strength / physique
    • Work on getting in shape (the video uses gym/strength as a confidence contributor).
  • Grooming
    • Get a haircut that fits you.
    • Maintain facial hair and eyebrows.
    • Practice skin care and daily hygiene habits (e.g., teeth/skin/lips).
    • Stay consistent with small details, since they affect how “put together” you feel.

4) Carry yourself differently (body language + communication)

• Eye contact
  • Maintain eye contact while listening/talking (engaged presence, not constant staring).
• Body language
  • Stand up straight; relax shoulders.
  • Stop “making yourself smaller.”
  • Avoid fidgeting/constant touching/phone checking as nervous signals.
  • Look comfortable in the space.
• How you speak
  • Slow down and speak clearly.
  • Speak loud enough to be heard.
  • Avoid rushing/stuttering caused by fear.

5) Build real confidence by building a life you respect (confidence needs fuel)

The video’s “4th section” is confidence rooted in evidence and self-trust—not performance.

• Create a confident life by:
  • Becoming good at something (get evidence through reps over time).
  • Keeping promises to yourself (self-trust is central).
  • Doing things you’re proud of (small wins count: finish projects, improve skills, grades, health, savings, etc.).
  • Stopping the need for everybody to like you
    • Let your opinion weigh more than others’.
    • Continue acting even with rejection/criticism.

Core message / takeaway

• “The person you are now is the side you practice the most.”
• Confidence = practicing the behaviors that belong to the confident version of you, especially through reps/exposure.
• Start now—“feeling ready will never come.”

Presenters / sources

• Presenter: Jay Alexander (JA)