Story: Andrew (sexual orientation OCD, psilocybin, therapy) (Ep551)

Summary

In this episode of The OCD Stories, Andrew shares how he developed intense sexual-orientation-related OCD symptoms after a frightening experience with psilocybin. He describes becoming preoccupied with intrusive thoughts and doubts, checking his reactions to men, Googling celebrities’ sexual orientations, comparing himself with others, and repeatedly trying to suppress or control his thoughts. The rumination became so severe that he sometimes slept fewer than two hours a night.

Andrew says he did not receive a formal OCD diagnosis, but therapy and psychiatric support helped him understand and manage what he was experiencing. He found it useful to explore how longstanding fears—shaped partly by growing up around homophobic attitudes—may have contributed to the distress. He describes progress as gradual: the thoughts have not disappeared entirely, but he feels more able to let them be without getting caught in them.

The conversation also cautions against treating psychedelics as a guaranteed solution. Andrew says he experimented on his own and believes the experience may have triggered or intensified his symptoms. Both speakers stress the need for further research and appropriate professional support; Andrew does not recommend unsupervised use. The episode is a personal account, not a substitute for clinical advice.

Key Strategies and Insights Discussed

• Seek professional support. Andrew credits ongoing work with a clinical psychologist and consultations with a psychiatrist as important parts of his recovery.
• Recognize thoughts as thoughts, not facts. ACT-based ideas helped him see the mind as a thought-generating system, rather than treating every intrusive thought as meaningful or true.
• Notice rumination and avoid trying to solve things through it. Andrew learned that rumination was a mental compulsion that kept the cycle going, rather than providing certainty.
• Regulate emotions before problem-solving. When he notices rumination, he tries to calm his nervous system and care for himself—for example, by meditating, sleeping, taking a walk, or doing something relaxing.
• Practice allowing thoughts to be present. Meditation helped Andrew sit with intrusive thoughts without suppressing or arguing with them. He describes this as letting the “radio” play in the background.
• Use values to guide action. ACT helped him focus on whether his choices were moving him toward the life and values he wanted, rather than letting OCD dictate his behavior.
• Approach vulnerable parts with compassion. Through internal family systems (IFS), Andrew explored frightened “parts” of himself, listened to what they were trying to protect him from, and responded with appreciation rather than pushing them away.
• Build self-compassion. Compassion-focused therapy helped him treat himself more gently while working through difficult feelings and memories.
• Talk to trusted people. Sharing his experience with friends and family reduced his sense of isolation and lifted some of the burden.
• Use deeper exploration thoughtfully. The speakers note that exploring underlying fears may suit some people, but during an acute crisis it can be more helpful to focus first on stabilizing emotions and reducing symptoms. They advise against assuming everyone needs to investigate a deeper cause.
• Treat psychedelic claims cautiously. Andrew’s experience illustrates that psychedelics can have risks as well as potential benefits. He and the host emphasize caution, research, and professional supervision.

Presenters and Sources Mentioned

• Stuart Ralph — host of The OCD Stories
• Andrew — guest
• Dr. Rebecca Donaldson — Andrew’s clinical psychologist
• Russ Harris — ACT author, including The Happiness Trap
• Richard Schwartz — associated with internal family systems therapy
• Tapio — a person whose OCD story Andrew says helped him feel less alone
• Alan Watts — philosopher and author, quoted by Andrew
• NOCD — podcast partner mentioned in the episode, advertising virtual OCD therapy, including exposure and response prevention (ERP)
• The OCD Stories — podcast and resource Andrew says helped him feel understood and less alone