I Returned to Judaism. Then Discovered I Wasn't Jewish...

Summary

Shoshana Lichtman describes growing up in a traditionally Jewish, “Conservadox” family in Central Jersey. When she was about seven, her family gradually stopped observing many Jewish practices. She remembers being confused when her parents stopped keeping kosher, separating meat and dairy dishes, and saying the bedtime Shema. Although her family’s Jewish life faded, she continued to feel a connection to Hashem.

As a teenager, Shoshana struggled to express her beliefs. At 17, while a close relative was critically ill, she stayed home with the children and spent the night repeating “Shema Yisrael,” the prayer she knew. The experience strengthened her sense that she needed faith and a Jewish life.

In college, she began seeking that connection again. She lit Hanukkah and Shabbat candles on campus, then attended a Chabad Passover Seder at MIT. The warmth, communal participation, and openness about faith made her feel she had found what was missing. Soon afterward, she learned that her mother’s conversion was not accepted as valid under Orthodox halacha, meaning Shoshana herself would need to convert to become Jewish according to that standard.

The news was devastating, and she spent months grieving and questioning her identity. After reconsidering whether she truly wanted an Orthodox life, she decided she did. She entered a conversion program, moved to live within walking distance of a synagogue, and balanced religious study with nursing training. The process took nearly two years, in part because of a misunderstanding about how thoroughly she was expected to read the assigned books, as well as practical challenges finding housing. She says the conversion was difficult and sometimes lonely, but ultimately gave her a clear path for learning and practice.

After completing the conversion, Shoshana felt a deep sense that things were finally “the way they were supposed to be.” She later became engaged to a man she met through a match arranged by her employer. She also describes finding encouragement and community through social media.

Advice and Takeaways

• Allow yourself to be new at something. Shoshana says it is normal to feel awkward, make mistakes, or not know what to do in synagogue or how to dress modestly at first.
• Take the journey one step at a time. She encourages people to trust that they may not see the path clearly at every stage.
• Seek supportive community. She reflects that her parents found it harder to maintain Jewish practice without a strong community, and that welcoming communities helped her reconnect.
• Keep asking what you genuinely want. During a period of doubt, she temporarily stopped her religious practices to examine whether she wanted to continue; she concluded that she did.
• Don’t assume a difficult beginning means you have lost your connection. Speaking to her seven-year-old self, she says that what felt lost was not truly gone—her journey was simply longer than expected.

No recipes, exercise routines, or health advice are presented. The video’s closing reflection emphasizes facing difficult truths and having the courage to start again.

Notable Locations, People, and Products

• People: Shoshana Lichtman; Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein; Rabbi Yaniv Meirov; Rabbi Avigdor Miller.
• Locations: Central Jersey; Monroe, New Jersey; Boston and the Chabad community at MIT; Stamford, Connecticut; Vermont.
• Books promoted: Veha’arev Na, Volume 4; Achas Sha’alti, Volume 4; Ohr Chazaq on the Parsha; Taamei HaMikra.
• Other sponsors and products mentioned: Wheels 4 Less; BF Design; Colel Chabad’s Pushka app; Woodmont College.
• Social media: Shoshana says she uses @Jew_right_now on TikTok and Instagram.