grwm while i talk about going on a date for the first time

Summary

Kelsey gets ready while reflecting on her first experience dating and how it affected her confidence and friendships.

She says she often keeps difficult feelings to herself because she worries she won’t explain them well or will sound foolish. She also noticed that bringing separate friend groups together sometimes left her feeling as if she had no personal space.

At a Don Toliver concert, she met a friend of a friend. They spent much of July together, but Kelsey felt unsure whether they were dating and found it uncomfortable to ask directly. She invited him to a friend’s birthday party, where someone asked if they were dating. He replied, “Not yet.” Frustrated by the ambiguity, Kelsey eventually stopped responding and blocked him. She jokingly refers to him as “Shpilka.”

Looking back, Kelsey connects some of her discomfort with dating and expressing emotions to feeling inexperienced and to childhood experiences in which she recalls being criticized for crying. She says she is still learning how to handle these feelings.

Kelsey doesn’t expect to ever “finish” achieving confidence, but she is proud that dating no longer feels as impossible as it once did. She has also learned that constant communication and clinginess don’t suit her.

Getting Ready

Kelsey had left her makeup in her bag after visiting friends and hadn’t worn makeup since. She mentions needing complete silence and a close mirror to shape her eyebrows.

Notable Mentions

• People: Kelsey and the unnamed man she jokingly calls “Shpilka”
• Location: Minnesota
• Event: A Don Toliver concert
• Sponsor: Quince, the video’s clothing and accessories sponsor