Qué es la asertividad y para qué sirve. Laura Rojas-Marcos, psicóloga

Summary (Wellness, Self-Care, and Communication Strategies)

Assertiveness is framed as a key skill for healthy boundaries and emotional wellbeing. It involves clearly knowing what you want (and don’t want) and expressing it confidently—especially when pressured.

Key strategies / self-care techniques

• Use boundaries intentionally

  • Recognize that assertiveness is directly related to boundaries.

• Say “no” comfortably (or “yes” when appropriate)

  • Practice phrases like:
    • “I don’t want to”
    • “I do want to”
    • “I’m determined to achieve this, and I’m going to use assertiveness.”

• Ask for what you want

  • Learn to communicate your needs clearly, rather than staying silent or avoiding conflict.

• Differentiate assertiveness from aggressiveness

  • Aggressiveness is linked to violence, yelling, disrespect, insults, or toxic behavior.
  • Assertiveness is calm, respectful, and focused on communicating needs without harming others.

• Be honest, but with tact

  • Sincerity is good, but the message emphasizes that “saying everything you think” without consideration can cause damage.
  • Aim for respectful language when responding to questions like “What do you think/feel?”

• Defend yourself when disrespected

  • Assertive behavior includes protecting your dignity, e.g., setting limits like:
    • “I won’t accept being spoken to like that.”
  • The contrast mentioned is that aggression leads to escalation, while assertiveness can include leaving or calmly setting a limit.

• Learn assertiveness through self-awareness

  • Get comfortable with what you want and expect, then express it without offending or disrespecting the other person.

• Address discomfort with saying no

  • Some people were raised to prioritize others’ needs, believe they always come second, or fear others’ judgment—leading to feeling forced to say “yes.”
  • Assertiveness is presented as learning to:
    • Manage uncertainty (e.g., “I don’t know”)
    • Take time to think, decide, and then act.

Presenters / Sources

• Laura Rojas-Marcos (psychologist)