the disappearance of rituals and the exhaustion of constantly becoming

Key wellness strategies, self-care techniques, and productivity ideas

• Shift from “becoming” to “remembering”

  • Instead of asking which ritual will make you a better person, ask: what do you want to remember about yourself and your life?
  • Build practices that help your life accumulate meaning rather than constantly chase improvement.

• Replace “resolution thinking” with ritual-based time

  • New Year’s resolutions are described as encouraging serial time: one thing after another, always aiming at the next goal, rarely arriving or lingering.
  • Rituals shift you into symbolic time: time that is felt through attention, repetition, and meaning-making over duration.

• Practice sustained attention (a form of care)

  • Rituals are portrayed as acts of full presence, not things done for productivity.
  • Emphasis: give something attention because it matters, not because it’s useful.

• Break the novelty/consumption cycle

  • The talk critiques the modern compulsion for “new systems” and constant self-improvement.
  • Instead of endlessly switching routines, rituals use repetition to create deep intensity and deep meaning.

• Create “time habitable” (make life feel livable, not just scheduled)

  • Rituals are described as symbolic techniques of making yourself at home in the world.
  • They provide:
    • Rhythmic markers / predictable structure
    • A “container” that helps you stay in sync with life’s pace
    • More internal landmarks so time doesn’t feel overwhelming or empty

• Use rituals for self-transcendence (less self-monitoring)

  • Resolutions tend to reinforce self-optimization, tracking, and identity construction from the outside-in.
  • Rituals encourage distance from the self: “the ritual is the center,” which reduces constant analysis and self-surveillance.
  • This leads to an embodied identity—who you become emerges from repeated symbolic actions.

• Choose community-compatible goals

  • The video notes that identity- and body-focused goals (common in resolutions) can become isolating private projects.
  • Rituals can support reconnection to what matters beyond the self (e.g., shared dinners, ongoing community ties).

• Make small, repeatable rituals

  • Examples given (simple, low-performance):
    • First tea/coffee with quiet reading for 20–30 minutes
    • Waking up a bit earlier to sit and read
    • Baking something weekly, hosting a monthly dinner, going to the same park bench to read/sit in silence
  • The point: rituals don’t need to be elaborate; consistency + repetition creates memory and depth.

• Reframe “productivity”

  • Rituals are explicitly not about efficiency or measurable output.
  • They help your body remember (sensory cues, familiar routines, repeated actions).

Presenters or sources mentioned

• Byung-Chul Han (author; referenced: The Disappearance of Rituals)
• Martin Heidegger (dwelling)
• Simone Weil (sustained attention; attention as generosity)
• Søren Kierkegaard (quote about “the new” exhausting us)
• Roxane Gay (referenced as a Skillshare class teacher)
• Alain de Botton (quote: rituals make vivid what we likely forgot)
• Heidegger (dwelling/linger concept is attributed)
• Skillshare (video sponsor)