Why Your Communication Makes People Ignore You & How To Fix It | Vinh Giang | FO588 Raj Shamani

Key Takeaways

Vinh Giang argues that people may be overlooked not because they lack ability, but because their communication doesn’t clearly convey it. He presents communication as a set of learnable skills: voice, body language, storytelling, and active listening.

Build Self-Awareness and Practise Deliberately

• Record a five-minute, unplanned video of yourself speaking. Wait 24 hours before reviewing it to reduce self-consciousness.
• Review it in separate passes:
  • Audio only: Note pace, clarity, volume, vocal variety, and distracting habits.
  • Video muted: Observe posture, facial expression, gestures, and fidgeting.
  • Transcript: Use AI, if helpful, to identify recurring grammar issues, repetition, weak structure, and filler words.
• Follow the “golden rule”: If something distracts listeners from your message, work on it.
• Practise one change at a time. Trying to fix everything at once can make improvement overwhelming and unsustainable.

Practise Spoken English and Strengthen Your Voice

• Treat speaking like practising an instrument: reading or listening alone is not a substitute for speaking aloud.
• For English practice, Giang suggests reading aloud three to four times a day for five minutes, clearly pronouncing words and deliberately exaggerating mouth movements.
• Pair a book with its audiobook: listen to a skilled speaker, imitate a passage, and compare your version. Use imitation to learn pronunciation and mouth movements, then gradually make the style your own.
• Practise using a stronger volume in private before using it in high-pressure situations. Giang also suggests exploring resonance with “ah” sounds and yawning exercises. The goal is to develop access to a wider vocal range, not to be loud all the time.

Use Body Language Intentionally

• Keep your shoulders down and back, and hold your head comfortably upright. Giang says posture affects how confident and present others perceive you to be.
• Use doorways as a cue to reset your posture before entering a new room.
• Replace nervous or unhelpful habits—such as keeping your hands in your pockets, rubbing your hands, or fidgeting—with purposeful gestures:
  • Open palms: Welcoming and inviting.
  • Palms facing down: Adds emphasis and authority.
  • Pointing: Use sparingly, especially in one-to-one conversations.
  • A “thinking” pose: Can signal that you are processing, but don’t remain in it.
  • A brief clap or other pattern break: Can regain a group’s attention if you lose it during a presentation. Giang advises using this only once per presentation.

Make Communication Clearer and More Influential

• Pair technical ability with communication. As Giang puts it, people can only recognize your value if you can communicate it—so don’t rely on your work to “speak for itself.”
• Practise explaining your work, ideas, or expertise in situations where you actually need to use them.
• When presenting, match your facial expression and vocal delivery to the emotion or importance of what you are saying.

Tell Stories That Help People Connect

• Keep a story bank. When an experience strongly moves you, record who was involved, what happened, where and when it happened, and what it meant to you.
• Don’t assume a story has to be dramatic. Everyday experiences can be meaningful if you draw out the lesson or feeling.
• Share personal stories when you are ready. Giang distinguishes between a painful wound, which may still be too raw to share, and a scar, which may be easier to discuss.
• Vulnerability can invite others to open up, but it requires going first and listening in return.

Practise Active Listening

• Listen not only to someone’s words, but also to their body language, vocal changes, and emotional tone.
• Notice possible “threads”—signs of sadness, excitement, or stress—and gently ask about them rather than assuming what someone feels.
• Ask follow-up questions and leave space for the other person to answer. Don’t rush to offer your own story or solution.
• When someone is struggling, ask what they need instead of assuming you must solve the problem. Sometimes companionship or practical support is more helpful than advice.
• Try the “last word, last letter” game: Listen to the speaker’s final word, identify its last letter, and begin your reply with that letter. The exercise discourages planning your response while the other person is still talking.

Review Priorities, Boundaries, and Goals

• Giang describes periodically recalibrating with a friend by reviewing what brought joy, what was difficult, and what values were reflected in their actions. He recommends checking whether stated values—such as family—are actually supported by recent choices.
• He says definitions of success can change with different life stages and should be revisited rather than carried forward automatically.
• Don’t take on every problem for other people. Allowing them room to solve things themselves can help them grow and reduce the risk of resentment.
• Be mindful of the personal cost of pursuing success. Giang reflects that extended work and travel strained family relationships, and advises moving on when a demanding “chapter” no longer fits your priorities.

A 30-Day Communication Practice

Giang’s suggested daily routine takes about 10 minutes:

• Record a three-minute video on a topic you need to communicate about in real life.
• Review the previous day’s video and choose one thing to improve.
• Focus the next recording on that one change, such as volume, clarity, facial expression, or gestures.
• Repeat consistently rather than expecting a long-standing habit to disappear in a day.

Presenters and Sources Mentioned

• Vinh Giang — Guest and communication coach.
• Raj Shamani — Host.
• Vanessa Van Edwards — Cited by Giang in connection with posture and perceived confidence.
• Brené Brown — Cited by Giang in connection with vulnerability.