МУЖСКАЯ БОЛЬ, О КОТОРОЙ МОЛЧАТ. Откровенный разговор с психологами

Key wellness strategies, self-care & productivity / life-structure tips

• Reframe “midlife crisis” as existential reorientation (not failure)

  • The crisis is described as a “portal” into a more mature self.
  • It often reflects a shift from external achievement/status toward internal meaning and identity.

• Stop chasing adrenaline-style escape; face internal processes instead

  • External “fixes” (e.g., motorcycles, night clubs, compulsive proving, risk behaviors) are treated as short-term substitutes for unresolved inner contact/feelings.

• Do therapy / self-work rather than “performing” stability

  • A repeated core recommendation: go to a psychologist / psychotherapy to:
    • identify internal patterns (often rooted in childhood),
    • understand what’s happening inside you,
    • reduce being “controlled” by unknown parts of yourself.

• Recognize and work with inner childhood + complexes

  • Resentment and “childish” reactions are discussed as:
    • the inner child responding to unmet emotional needs,
    • often tied to an archetype/complex (frequently “mother” in men; mirroring what happened with parents).
  • “Maturity” isn’t no emotions, but awareness + understanding of where the emotion comes from.

• Awareness practice: notice the trigger in real time

  • When an emotion appears (e.g., resentment), the strategy is:
    • identify it as “my inner child/complex is activated”,
    • don’t automatically react,
    • use awareness to reduce the charge over repeated cycles.

• Build contact with suppressed feelings (and don’t confuse “not feeling” with “no feeling”)

  • “I don’t feel” may actually mean:
    • dissociation / suppression / ignoring feelings by moving them out of awareness.
  • Feelings are described as essential for vitality, creativity, and relational health.

• Integrate the “feminine inner part” for psychological wholeness (not gender stereotypes)

  • Several speakers argue that many men suppress the inner feminine (sensuality, tenderness, emotional expression), which later leaks out indirectly (crisis, extremes, shutdowns, compulsive behavior).
  • The goal is integration, not repression.

• Manage burnout by transforming the system relationship (not just abandoning it)

  • Workaholism is framed as compensation for unresolved needs/conflicts.
  • Suggested approach:
    • notice the anxiety loop (work/status as proof “I’m safe”),
    • change how you relate to the work and to yourself,
    • restore pleasure/meaning and re-open other life areas (family, creativity).

• Micro-self-care: pause, slow down, allow uncertainty

  • A common tool: temporarily reduce “doing” and allow emotions to surface (e.g., lying on the couch, walking in nature/park, meditation/breathing).
  • The message: don’t run from boredom/anxiety—use it to reconnect with inner material.

• Physiological outlet for suppressed emotion (but not as the only solution)

  • Running marathons is criticized as sometimes being a displacement for feelings (not true emotional resolution).
  • Exercise is still indirectly supported, but not as a replacement for inner work.

• Men’s communication as emotional regulation

  • A major wellness/productivity-adjacent point: men often lack safe internal communication.
  • Strategy offered: find a male peer space (men’s retreat / men’s company) to talk about vulnerability without shame and competition.

• Relational health: learn emotional/relational skills, not just roles

  • Healthy long-term partnership is presented as a skill many people didn’t receive training in.
  • The crisis is linked to inability to build equal, respectful relationships and handle feelings together.

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Presenters / sources mentioned

• Rauf Asadov (founder of the Organic project; host)
• Psychologist Vladimir Kolyagin (guest)
• Psychologist Alexey Dashchenko (guest)