Les femmes aiment quand vous vous comportez comme ça avec elles

Summary

Estelle presents five behaviors she believes can help build attraction and healthier romantic connections. Her central message is to develop inner security: show genuine interest without seeking constant reassurance, and guide interactions without trying to control the other person.

Five behaviors

1. Avoid the “good guy” trap of overgiving. Being honest and kind is positive, but sharing everything immediately, overplanning, or repeatedly checking whether someone approves can make an interaction feel pressured or one-sided. Let people get to know each other gradually instead of trying to prove yourself all at once.

2. Turn persistence into quiet confidence. If a date goes well, say you enjoyed it, then give the other person space to respond. The point is not to play games or hide your interest, but to avoid repeatedly messaging for reassurance and to accept that the next step is not entirely in your control.

3. Detach your self-worth from the outcome. A woman’s response does not determine your value. Treat a date as a chance to learn about another person, not as a test you must pass. Be present and curious, show sincere interest, and don’t make that interest conditional on a particular result.

4. Become comfortable with silence. You don’t need to fill every pause. Staying relaxed can make conversation feel less anxious and give both people room to think and share. Calm presence—not constant talking—can help create a more comfortable interaction.

5. Set natural boundaries and take the lead respectfully. Make clear, specific suggestions instead of leaving every decision to the other person, and communicate preferences calmly—for example, asking someone to let you know if plans change. Be willing to adjust or step away if your needs aren’t respected. Taking the lead should not mean pressuring someone; their preferences and consent still matter.

Estelle also says unresolved difficult experiences, including past relationships or childhood experiences, can contribute to insecurity. Working through them can help build a steadier sense of self.

Presenter/source: Estelle, the video’s presenter.