You Could Be Drowning In It!

Mindset, Social Media, and Porn

The speakers discuss how people—especially men and women—often operate from a “lack” mindset regarding sexual/romantic opportunities. They also explore how social media and porn can reinforce this imbalance.

Abundance vs. Lack Mindset

• Even when many options exist, both sexes may behave as if scarcity is real.
• This can lead to different patterns in how people approach dating and sex.

Social Media and Porn as Key Drivers

One contributor (citing a concept associated with Rollo Tomassi) compares:

• Porn → men
• Instagram → women

The argument is:

• Porn gives men a simulation of unlimited sexual access, reinforcing habitual use and high sexual expectations.
• Instagram and similar platforms provide women with unlimited attention and validation, encouraging a constant sense of desirability and choice.

Attention vs. Sex Value

The discussion claims that:

• For women, attention can function similarly to how sex functions for men—both as major forms of validation.
• As a result, men and women may value different inputs differently (e.g., sex vs. attention), shaping distinct relationship dynamics.

Personal View on Sexuality and Sex’s Purpose

One speaker describes sexuality as partly involving:

• Connection
• Eliciting emotional and physical reactions

They connect this to becoming more sexually active and developing interest in BDSM, citing the variety of ways to engage with others.

Porn vs. Real Intimacy

They contrast:

• Porn sex, which is often described as lacking:
  • eye contact
  • a sense of connection (a “disconnect”), since performers may focus on looking good for the camera
• Real sex, where:
  • mutual eye contact
  • shared intensity can create the feeling of being “seen”, enhancing connection.

Sex as a “Tool” vs. Validation

The speakers suggest sex can serve different roles depending on the person:

• Sometimes it functions as recreation or a “means to an end” (notably discussed in the context of sex workers).
• Other times it functions as validation and pleasure, particularly in how some men experience it.

Presenters / Contributors

• Unspecified speaker(s) (multiple participants)
• Rollo Tomassi (mentioned as a contributor/source for the comparison)