how to be alone (and not lonely)

Summary

The video explores why being alone has become an online aesthetic while emphasizing that solitude and loneliness are not the same. Chosen solitude can feel grounding; unwanted isolation can feel like rejection. Loneliness is less about how many people are physically nearby and more about the gap between the connection you want and the connection you have.

The creator also reflects on how social media can make ordinary alone time look curated and aesthetic. Rather than treating loneliness as a personal failure—or trying to eliminate it entirely—she suggests responding to it with curiosity and balancing time alone with meaningful connection.

Key Strategies and Ideas

• Treat loneliness as a signal, not a verdict. Ask what the feeling might be pointing to: a need for deeper connection, more social opportunities, or simply less time alone.
• Don’t expect to never feel lonely. Loneliness is a normal human emotion. Try not to add shame or conclude that something is fundamentally wrong with you.
• Use solitude to learn about yourself. Notice what you genuinely like, think, and want when you aren’t adapting to other people’s preferences.
• Do things for their own sake. Try a hobby, take a trip, or get absorbed in an activity without needing it to be productive, impressive, or useful.
• Remember that alone time is still life—not a waiting room. Instead of putting life on hold until the next social plan, make the time meaningful in ways that suit you.
• Balance solitude and companionship. Time alone can help you understand yourself; connection lets you share that self with others. Neither is a substitute for the other.
• Let loneliness be present sometimes. Like the weather, it may come and go. You don’t always need to immediately distract yourself, fix it, or turn it into a project.

Presenters and Sources

• Lindsay (Lindsiann), the video’s presenter
• Grace and Warren, briefly introduced during the hiking portion
• Edgar Allan Poe, quoted as saying, “All that I loved, I loved alone”
• An unnamed psychological idea that loneliness functions like hunger or thirst, signaling a need; no specific researcher is named.