6 Sneaky Ways People Are Disrespecting You & What to Do About It

Key wellness, self-care, and productivity strategies from the episode

Core mindset: protect your peace (energy + attention)

• Choose whether it’s worth your energy to respond. Disrespect can be “data” about someone’s emotional immaturity—your peace is the priority.
• Reframe “let them” as boundary-setting, not passivity:
  • You’re not tolerating behavior—you’re opting out of managing it.
  • You can leave, stop engaging, or mentally disengage because you’re not responsible for changing another adult.

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1) When someone talks over you: take the room back

• Keep talking instead of shutting down.
• Slow down deliberately (signals confidence).
• Use their name to cue them to stop.
• After you finish, ask what they wanted to say (redirects to respectful, mature dialogue).

Goal: preserve self-respect and keep others from “stealing” your voice.

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2) When someone dismisses your feelings: validate yourself first

• Treat emotional invalidation as disrespect—even if they “didn’t mean it.”
• Watch for dismissive phrases like:
  • “You’re so sensitive.”
  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “It’s not a big deal.”
  • “Why is this a problem for you?”
• Use self-validation to regain stability:
  • “I get to decide I feel how I feel.”
• If you’re the one dismissing others:
  • Acknowledge impact and make space for feelings (e.g., “I can see how this hurt you… I’m sorry.”)

Wellness angle: emotional invalidation can contribute to stress/anxiety/depression and erodes confidence—so self-validation is a protective practice.

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3) When people are chronically late: protect time boundaries

• Chronic lateness communicates low regard for others’ time.
• If you are late (self-improvement):
  • Change the internal motivation from “I’m a mess” to “I’m disrespecting people’s time.”
  • Say “thank you for your patience” and don’t over-explain.
• If others are late (what you can control):
  • Use the “let them” approach: you can’t change them, but you can control your response.
  • Don’t hold your life hostage—go on without them if possible (ferry/movie/play principle).

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4) Silent treatment: stop mind-reading expectations

• The subtle form isn’t just ghosting—it’s withholding what someone needs and then punishing you for not guessing.
• The episode frames it as emotional abuse / immaturity when used to control others.
• Response strategy:
  • Let them be silent / let them sulk (don’t chase or self-blame).
  • Then decide whether to address directly or disengage.
  • Replace guessing with clear requests, e.g.:
    • “I’d love to sit on the couch—could we do that?”
    • “I’d really love flowers because it makes me feel appreciated.”

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5) Condescending behavior: don’t “look up” to it

• Examples include:
  • “Actually…” corrections
  • Backhanded phrasing (“I guess that’s one way…”)
  • “You always…” / “You never…”
• Strategy:
  • Call it out (internally: “this is condescending”).
  • Create distance and reduce access if it’s persistent.
  • Use a power move:
    • Pause and ask: “Are you trying to be condescending?”
    • Or: “Can you repeat that?” (often forces accountability and exposes intent).

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6) Backhanded compliments: evaluate impact, not phrasing

• A true compliment should make you feel good.
• If it confuses you, drags you down, or makes you feel bad—it’s not a compliment.
• Response tools:
  • Pause/silence (power + processing time).
  • Ask:
    • “What did you actually mean?”
    • “Are you trying to make me feel bad?”
• Key principle: focus on intention vs. impact, and claim your right to feel disrespected.

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Overall methodology (episode’s “how to respond” framework)

• Spot the disrespect (“Oh wait—this is disrespectful.”)
• Decide your response based on your peace and energy.
• Use one of the episode’s tactics:
  • keep talking + use their name
  • validate your feelings (“I get to decide…”)
  • thank for patience if you’re late; otherwise proceed
  • ask directly what you need (don’t guess)
  • call out condescension / force repetition
  • pause and re-clarify backhanded comments
• Demand the change of yourself first (boundaries, self-respect, engagement choices).

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Presenters or sources mentioned

• Mel Robbins (host / presenter)
• Harvard Business Review (source of the “talking over you” strategy via an article)
• Harrison Monarth (quoted/credited; referenced as a coach and author)
• Gregory Wozksi (Walden University; cited for emotional invalidation research)
• Jefferson Fisher (author and trial lawyer; referenced for handling dismissive feelings / difficult people)
• Danielle Bayer Jackson (friendship expert; referenced for silent treatment / needing communication)
• Danielle Bayer Jackson’s credited research (referenced; “Danielle Bayer Jackson… friendship expert… research shows…”)
• Harvard Business School (source of “backhanded compliments” research; three professors referenced)
• Mel Robbins Podcast (context/series)