The Lifeguard Movie Review & RANT

Review of The Lifeguard

Mike opens with a stunned account of a bizarre marital argument in the movie before turning to his review of The Lifeguard. He likes Kristen Bell but finds the film’s attempt at quirky, indie realism unconvincing.

The story follows a 30-year-old woman who quits her job and moves back in with her parents to escape adult life. Mike thinks the premise could have supported a relatable drama, but says the lead’s choices—and their effects on those around her—feel nonsensical. He also criticizes the film’s portrayal of her sudden connection with a rebellious 16-year-old as romantic, calling attention to the uncomfortable age gap. The drawn-out, explicit intimacy scenes, accompanied by indie music, are among his biggest complaints.

Mike’s verdict is that nearly everyone in the film is unpleasant, and the movie expects viewers to sympathize with its lead without earning it. He gives The Lifeguard a 3/10, while stressing that he still considers Bell talented—she simply chose the wrong project. He closes by asking viewers to name the stupidest movie they have seen.

Personalities Mentioned

• Mike, the reviewer
• Kristen Bell