#38 – Kätlin Pärli: Isegi nõid ütles, et peame lahku minema

Key wellness, self-care & relationship strategies from the episode (Kätlin Pärli)

Core relationship framework (3 relationships that matter)

Focus on maintaining:

• Relationship with your partner
• Relationship with your child
• Relationship with yourself

View challenges as part of relationship growth, especially during parenthood.

Healing and safety: therapy + “pattern awareness”

• Go to therapy (individual and/or couples) to gain perspective on repeating family patterns.
• When you’re “in a pattern,” you often can’t see it yourself—therapy helps you observe it “from the outside.”
• Couples are encouraged to:
  • Keep working even when communication stalls or intimacy drops
  • Continue therapy consistently (not only when things “look okay”)

Communication tools (daily connection habit)

Practice regular, stable conversations with structure and “rules”:

• Use “I” statements
• Listen and digest before responding
• Avoid interrupting / getting stuck in blame or going “straight to the point”

Share emotions daily—even a little, especially when it feels easy to stop talking.

Create conditions for meaningful talks:

• TV off
• Child asleep
• Calm, full presence

If you’re in an emotional delay (it can take time to process), acknowledge it rather than snapping back.

Postpartum depression & anxiety: early recognition + support

Normalize that postpartum depression/anxiety can look like:

• Constant nausea, appetite loss, crying
• Fear of being alone with the child
• Anxiety during travel or separation

Seek help early:

• Psychiatrist/mental health professional evaluation
• Medication can help, but may take about a week to start working

Strong emphasis on social support:

• A friend can be the “missing observer” who notices the risk and helps get treatment
• Don’t rely on partners alone to “see it”

Parenting support and “rebalancing” load

A major theme: partners (especially fathers) often need more responsibility and trust, rather than the mother carrying everything.

Encourage:

• Time for the mother to have alone time / time with girlfriends (weekend breaks when possible)
• Practical support so the mother isn’t constantly overwhelmed

Intimacy & passion maintenance (physical closeness, not only sex)

Maintain passion through both emotional and physical micro-gestures:

• Always kiss hello/goodbye
• Increase non-sexual physical touch (hand over back, pat, contact that says “I see you”)

Understand that postpartum periods can affect desire, but:

• Physical closeness can still create safety and connection

Keep closeness alive with “checkpoints”:

• After good days, return to what helped (walks, sunlight, shared calm)
• Use those moments as anchors during downturns

Breakup / “separating without harming the child” mindset

If the relationship is breaking down:

• Aim for a functional separation that protects the child
• Parents still must learn to cooperate enough to reduce conflict spillover

“Break up in parts” is preferred over total shutdown because:

• The child stays connected to both parents
• The relationship must be restructured, not weaponized

Writing therapy as self-processing (grief & emotions)

Use journaling/writing as emotional release:

• Write letters or “a book about life”
• If emotions are hard to express verbally, writing helps them become intelligible and shareable later.

Health / supplement mention

The podcast also promotes EcoEcos supplements (sponsor):

• Uses discount code “papsid 20” for 20% off at the Eekoshi store

Specific products mentioned:

• Lion’s mane (described as improving focus/energy about an hour after taking)
• Magnesium and a joint complex were also referenced as general wellness support.

Presenters / sources

• Presenters: Kristo Tuurman; Ilimar Pilt
• Guest: Kätlin Pärli
• Sponsor / source mentioned: Eekoshi (referenced with store discount code “papsid 20”)
• Podcast platform / organization referenced: papsid.ee podcast (mentioned by hosts)