Putting A Pretty Face on Trans Autosexuality - Schyler B.

Episode Overview

This episode is a discussion hosted by Laura T and Yvette about gender and “transsexuality” discourse, with a specific focus on autosexuality—sexual arousal from imagining oneself as a woman—within the sexological framework associated with Ray Blanchard.

The hosts present the topic as highly controversial and often stigmatized, arguing that public narratives about trans women can feel unrelatable, sensational, or threatening. They bring in Skyler B (“Miss Skyler,” a trans woman associated with earlier podcasting such as Dollcast) to share her life story and argue that autosexuality can be real and persistent without negating someone’s womanhood or implying predatory danger.

Key Points and Arguments

Why autosexuality is discussed at all

Skyler and the hosts argue that autosexuality is part of Skyler’s personal history and should not be erased. They contend it’s often avoided within trans communities because it’s stigmatized and can be used by critics as ammunition. Nonetheless, they argue it should be told accurately to improve understanding and reduce misinformation.

Critique of “just trauma” explanations

Skyler rejects the idea that her trans identity is best explained by childhood trauma. She describes her upbringing as loving and religiously strict, but not traumatic in the typical sense—citing only isolated incidents (such as an angry moment with a grandfather) that don’t fit the “trauma origin” narrative.

Gradual emergence of gender distress and identity exploration

Skyler describes a progressive, evolving experience that includes:

• Early childhood awareness that something about gender felt “not right” (including praying to become a girl)
• Private cross-dressing and imagining/experimentation during youth
• Adolescence, including dreams where she is female, with arousal linked to being in that female role
• Later exploration of possible outcomes, including:
  • private efforts to access hormones without purchasing them publicly
  • studying typologies such as Blanchard’s

Sexuality vs gender identity (their proposed separation)

Throughout the discussion, the hosts and Skyler distinguish sexual arousal/eroticization from identity and longing to live as a woman. They argue that, for Skyler, the desire to be seen and embodied as female is not reducible to sex. They also suggest that medical transition can be about relieving long-term dysphoria and living coherently—even when sexuality is part of the overall story.

Planning, hesitation, and transition as a “stability” decision

Skyler emphasizes caution and preparation:

• she delayed “pulling the trigger” despite longing
• she explored community and information (including trans women’s meetups and broad reading, including critical/Christian viewpoints)
• she framed transition as something she wanted to get right before marriage

She ties this approach to her personality (a planner and risk-management mindset) and to a preference for stability over impulsivity.

Coming out, marriage, and medical transition

Skyler recounts telling her partner, Tiffany, early in the relationship—framing it as gender dysphoria / possible trans identity—and proposing before starting hormones. She portrays Tiffany as initially confused but supportive, with later adjustments as Skyler’s presentation and physical changes accelerated after starting hormones around January 2019.

Social contract, passing, and bathroom safety as lived practice

Skyler argues that public norms and “social contracts” between trans people and others have changed and continue to be renegotiated. Key themes include:

• Respect is essential
• Passing/appearance can reduce conflict, but should not be the only basis for deserving respect
• people who are not passing should still be treated with good faith, but should recognize that access to gendered spaces is not an entitlement and requires effort and consideration

She also describes using women’s facilities at a conference, noting how monitoring and waiting helped her become aware of others’ perceptions.

Advocacy strategy and political distinctions

Skyler says she wanted to separate “non-binary” identity politics from “transsexual/transgender dysphoric” medical transition. She describes her advocacy as motivated by:

• helping dysphoric people make clear decisions without being swept away by emotion
• setting expectations for difficult outcomes while still believing transition can go well
• promoting respectful engagement and not treating criticism as something to dismiss

She references earlier efforts such as Dollcast and collaboration with people she credits for advocating clearer distinctions.

Reaction to online culture and rising conflict

Skyler describes attending a trans conference (roughly 2019 based on her timeline) and witnessing intense public confrontation over misgendering, which she interpreted as a sign that conflict was escalating quickly. She later connects this to broader U.S. political changes and what she calls overcorrection after earlier left-leaning shifts (including sports-related legislation as an example of harm).

Why she became (and remains) less publicly visible

Skyler attributes her reduced online visibility partly to her federal government job and caution about internet exposure. She also cites personal life events: childbirth and becoming a parent after IVF setbacks, including celebrating having a son.

Final stance: transition as “real medical care”

The hosts argue against claims that transition is merely cosmetic or not medical care. Skyler argues transition can be life-improving and stabilizing, allowing her to live without constant internal burden. She also says she cannot control how critics interpret her story, but she hopes it demonstrates that a good life after transition is possible.

Presenters / Contributors

• Laura T. — host/presenter
• Yvette — host/presenter (mentioned as Evette in subtitles)
• Skyler B / “Miss Skyler” — guest; main contributor

Referenced contributors (not present as presenters)

Ray Blanchard, J. Michael Bailey, James Morandini, Briana Woo, Mark Yarhouse, Benjamin Boyce, Ray Alex Williams (and a few others named during the discussion).