Objectify him: texting

Summary

Dr. Orion Taraban argues that people often text romantic partners with the kinds of messages they themselves would like to receive, rather than considering what the other person prefers. He says this mismatch can leave men feeling sexually unwanted and women feeling emotionally unseen.

His suggested approach is to communicate in ways that better match a partner’s preferences:

• For women texting men: Be direct about sexual attraction and desire. Taraban says men may especially appreciate compliments about their appearance and messages expressing enthusiasm for intimacy.
• For men texting women: Send affectionate, personal messages that show you remember her interests, preferences, or shared experiences. A meme or image that fits her sense of humor can be a quick way to show you were thinking of her.
• For both partners: Avoid assuming the other person wants the same kind of communication you do. Pay attention to what makes them feel valued, and offer that instead.

Taraban frames mismatched texting as an attempt to “model” the treatment people want for themselves. He encourages adults to move beyond that habit and communicate more thoughtfully.

These are broad gender-based claims presented by the speaker, not individualized guidance.

Presenter/source: Dr. Orion Taraban, Psych Hacks.