California Tried to Shut Down the Crappy Childhood Fairy | Anna Runkle

Summary

Anna Runkle, creator of the Crappy Childhood Fairy, discusses her experience with childhood adversity and emotional dysregulation, as well as the approach she developed to help herself and others. She says learning about complex PTSD helped her recognize that some reactions she had viewed as personal failings could be common responses to trauma. She also emphasizes that a diagnosis need not define a person.

Runkle describes years of therapy that often centered on repeatedly discussing painful events. In her experience, this sometimes left her overwhelmed and unable to function afterward. She says structured writing and meditation helped her most, crediting these practices with helping her feel calmer, think more clearly, and return to work. She cautions that talking about trauma can affect people differently and says she is not a therapist or a substitute for professional care.

The conversation also focuses on Runkle’s dispute with California’s Board of Psychology. She says the state ordered her to stop certain paid coaching activities, despite her view that she clearly distinguishes her work from therapy and psychology. She is suing the Board in federal court, arguing that the case affects free speech, people’s ability to choose whom to consult, and coaches’ ability to work. The hosts strongly criticize professional licensing and administrative enforcement. These are their views; the legal dispute remains contested.

Wellness and self-care strategies discussed

• Use structured writing rather than unbounded venting. Runkle describes writing down fears, resentments, and other distressing thoughts, then ending with a prayer asking God to help remove the disturbance. She says the method is intended to organize what is troubling her, rather than simply rehearse it.
• Pair writing with meditation. She says she wrote and meditated regularly, and credits the combination with helping her feel more regulated and focused. She mentions learning Transcendental Meditation.
• Notice when a conversation is overwhelming. Runkle says speaking aloud about traumatic memories can make it difficult for her to stay present, while writing about them feels safer. She presents this as her own experience, not a universal rule.
• Shift attention toward present patterns and possible changes. Rather than focusing only on past events or other people’s actions, she suggests asking what patterns one keeps repeating and what one might do differently.
• Create structure and boundaries around difficult conversations. In her peer gatherings, she chose not to have people recount trauma in detail. Instead, she focused on learning practices and discussing what participants could do in the present.
• Build connection and community. Runkle describes peer support, shared daily-practice calls, and helping others as important parts of her life. She says feeling a sense of belonging can be especially meaningful for people who feel isolated.
• Keep trying when an approach does not help. She encourages people not to give up after a few unsuccessful attempts, while choosing for themselves what support to pursue.
• Move slowly in romantic relationships. Based on her own experience, she recommends taking time to get to know someone rather than rushing into intimacy or trying to turn a new partner into the person one hopes they will be. Her examples include initially meeting about once a week and keeping early phone calls relatively short.
• Seek appropriate support for serious difficulties. Runkle says she does not consider herself qualified to handle serious mental-health needs and advises people in that situation to seek professional help.

Presenters and sources

• Anna Runkle — Guest; creator of the Crappy Childhood Fairy and author of Re-Regulated.
• Roger McFillin — Host.
• Tracy Thurman — Host and legal commentator.