CAN YOU FIX THIS TO ATTRACT LOVE?

Overview

Dr. Anila Reddy argues that attracting love is not about making someone chase you or changing yourself to earn their approval. Instead, it involves noticing stories about rejection, lack, and needing to be chosen—and recognizing that another person’s behavior does not determine your worth.

This shift may make relationships feel less stressful and more present, but it is not a way to control someone else’s choices.

Key Ideas and Practices

• Try a brief mindfulness experiment: Picture the person you’re focused on, then set aside their name, history, and the stories about them. Notice what is present in your experience—perhaps thoughts, images, or feelings—and recognize these as experiences arising in awareness.
• Question the “I’m missing something” story: Thoughts such as “I need to be chosen” or “their love will make me enough” can create a sense of distance and inadequacy. Notice these thoughts without treating them as facts about who you are.
• Stop turning affection into a performance review: Tracking whether someone replied, how quickly they responded, or whether they showed “enough” interest can make love feel like a test.
• Let go of control and pedestal-thinking: The aim is not to manipulate, conquer, or force another person to change. Continue ordinary relationship activities—texting, dating, or reconciling—without making the other person the source of your value.
• Rest in a simple sense of being: The speaker describes mindfulness as recognizing the “I am,” or awareness that exists before personal history and labels. You do not need to become more magnetic, charismatic, or skilled at manifestation to be worthy.
• Treat relationship changes as possible side effects, not guarantees: People may respond differently when you feel less stressed and more at ease, but no method controls another person’s choices.

Presenter and Source

Dr. Anila Reddy is the video presenter and channel.