Three Kinds of Love - Venerable Fulton Sheen

Main ideas, concepts, and lessons

• “Love” is used too loosely in English

  • The speaker argues that English has only one general word (“love”) while different kinds of love actually mean very different things.
  • He claims many people say “anything is all right as long as you love,” but he rejects that as overly simplistic—because not all “love” is the same.

• Three Greek words for love (explained and illustrated)

  1. Eros (eros / “Aeros”) — friendship, attraction, love of excellence

     • Described as a kind of love that pulls rather than pushes.
     • Examples given: love of a person, love of art, love of philosophy, love of “the good life.”
     • Illustrations/stories:
       • A letter/story from G.K. Chesterton about loving everything in the universe as preparation to truly love his future wife.
       • A story where a husband says that if he could return to earth after death, he would become his wife’s second husband—presented as Eros.
       • A toast praising a wife’s beauty as something that stops time.
     • Contrast between ancient meaning and later degeneration:
       • He says Freud modernized Eros into erotic/sexual desire (“erotic love”).
       • He uses an analogy: modern erotic love “puts the fig leaf” over the face, so the person is treated more as an experience than as a person.

  2. Philia (philia) — brotherly love, love of humanity

     • Presented as love not of person-to-person preference, but love for all people as human beings made in God’s image.
     • Key distinction: liking vs loving
       • Liking is emotional and can’t be commanded.
       • Loving is an act of the will and can be commanded.
     • Illustrations/stories:
       • A personal example of not liking chicken due to childhood experiences (yet still being able to eat chicken if invited).
       • An “angel in Hell” parable:
         • An old woman is offered rescue by grabbing a carrot lowered from above.
         • People grab too, but no one can be pulled out because there is no love of fellow man (i.e., Philia is missing).
       • Missionary story from the Pacific:
         • The “greatest virtue” is charity—people even go without food to share it.
       • Story involving Singh (East Indian) and a guide across snowy mountains:
         • Singh rescues a moaning man; later discovers the guide he saved has been the one who died because Singh did not warm himself.
         • Offered as a “supreme act” of philanthropy (Philia).
       • Prisoner-sugar story:
         • A new prisoner hides sugar in his heel and gives it to others who need it most.
         • The sugar ends up traveling from one prisoner to the next, sustaining care for many.
       • Leprosy-colony story:
         • A stewardess who admired the speaker later chooses service: she drives a Jeep to find lepers (often hidden under bridges) and brings them to a doctor for care.
         • The speaker frames this service as Philia.

  3. Agape (agape) — sacrificial, divine love

     • The speaker says there is no adequate English equivalent for Agape.
     • He argues Agape is:
       • Love of God for man
       • Love that is unearned and given to the “unlovable”
       • Love that is heroic and does not depend on being loved in return
     • Scriptural basis:
       • He claims Agape is used frequently in the New Testament and is the word underlying the “love” emphasized in John 13 and 1 Corinthians 13 (the “beautiful passage on love”).
     • Illustrations/stories/arguments:
       • Lifeguard analogy:
         • Risk-taking for a drowning beautiful girl vs risking for a harmful/difficult person—used to show how God’s love is different and not based on attractiveness.
       • Courtroom/son analogy:
         • A judge sentences his own son for murder, then steps down to die for him—called Mercy.
       • “Christ crucified / Easter freedom” analogy:
         • The speaker extends the courtroom image to suggest that God’s love includes redemption: death is overcome, and the guilty are freed.
     • Main conclusion about Agape:
       • It is the love we are committed to, not sentimental love.
       • It is love for enemies / people “anti-love.”

• Final teaching: the true “kind of love” matters

  • The speaker returns to the opening claim: “anything is all right provided you love” is not true unless the love is the right kind:
    • Eros (attraction)
    • Philia (humanity/brotherly will-love)
    • Agape (divine sacrificial committed love)
  • He argues human love is limited and incomplete:
    • Perfect love isn’t found on earth; romantic love points beyond itself to God.
    • Human hearts are not “perfect in shape” because something essential is missing—symbolized as a piece torn from the “universal heart” on the Cross.
    • Real peace comes only from returning to God, who “keeps” the fullness of peace “from all eternity.”

• Gospel episode used to distinguish love-types (St. Peter)

  • The speaker references Jesus’ post-resurrection appearance at the Sea of Galilee:
    • Peter jumps into the sea to reach Jesus, then later returns to the boat and fishes (153 fish).
  • He interprets the key moment:
    • Jesus asks Peter three times whether he loves Him.
    • The speaker claims the questions use two Greek terms:
      • One is Philia (“natural human friendly love”)
      • The other is Agape (“divine sacrificial committed love”)
    • Peter is grieved because it seems Jesus doubts him.
  • Jesus then commissions Peter:
    • “Feed my lambs” and “feed my sheep”
  • The lesson is that Jesus reaches into Peter’s limited love and transforms it into deeper love.

Methodology / instruction list (as presented)

• Meditate on which “kind of love” you are committed to in the Gospel

  • Specifically, the speaker urges the audience to remember:
    • Agape when reading about Christ’s love
    • Use the Gospel passage (especially John’s scene with Peter) to understand how divine love works through human weakness.

• Distinguish “liking” from “loving”

  • Treat “liking” as emotional preference (not commandable).
  • Treat “loving” as a choice/will (commandable).
  • Practical implication:
    • Even if you cannot feel affection toward everyone, you can still will their good (Philia/charity).

Speakers / sources featured (identified)

• Venerable Fulton Sheen (primary speaker/author of the talk)
• G.K. Chesterton (source of a quoted letter/toast used as an Eros example)
• Freud (referenced as changing/modernizing the understanding of Eros)
• Jesus Christ (biblical figure; referenced through Gospel and teaching)
• St. John (Gospel writer referenced for the post-resurrection scene)
• St. Paul (referenced via 1 Corinthians 13)
• “St. Peter” / Simon Peter (biblical character in the Gospel story)

Bible passages referenced

• John 13 (“a new commandment… love one another”)
• 1 Corinthians 13 (chapter described as “on love”)

Non-biblical story sources within the talk

• A Russian novelist (“dovi/dovi” as heard in the subtitles; name may be misheard)
• Several people used in illustrative stories (e.g., Singh, the Tibetan guide, and a prison acquaintance named Richard as “Richard worm brand” in subtitles; exact names may be imperfect due to auto-subtitles)