Hollywood never learns..

Opening reaction + “chili sauce” joke

The narrator compares the movie’s awfulness to an intentionally nasty dare: drinking a shot glass of chili sauce and getting “explosive” stomach misery the next day. He argues that watching Supergirl was even more miserable—because it’s dragged out to nearly two hours, unlike his own instant torment.

The core joke is that even bodily chaos would be more tolerable than this film.

What happens in the plot (as summarized by the critic)

• Flashbacks explain that Cara’s father separated Argo City from a destroyed Krypton, but it released kryptonite/radiation and threatens everyone.
• Cara and her dog, Krypto, are sent to Earth to meet Clark.
• Cara largely refuses the “hero” direction and instead parties—mostly hanging out around red-sun planets so she can drink and behave like a stereotypical, careless “cool-girl.”

Key inciting events

• On her 23rd birthday, Cara meets Ruthie, who is there to kill Creme in revenge.
• Creme then randomly shows up, steals Cara’s ship, and poisons Krypto with a slow-acting poison that will kill him in three days unless an antidote is found.

The narrator repeatedly calls out the contrived luck/coincidences, including:

• The villain appearing at exactly the right moment
• The decision to use a delayed poison instead of simply killing the dog
• The plot conveniently forcing the “reluctant hero” setup

Aftermath and escalation

• Cara and the group go after Creme and his gang (“Mad Max rejects”).
• Lobo appears briefly—for fan service and to give Jason Momoa screen time—then disappears.
• There’s an innocent family’s death, Cara gets sick on a green-sun planet, and she conveniently recovers when a yellow sun appears.
• A major fight follows:
  • Cara stops Ruthie from killing Creme.
  • Then Cara kills Creme herself anyway, which the narrator flags as inconsistent with the film’s “revenge is bad” messaging.
• Cara ultimately saves Krypto and returns to Earth, deciding it’s finally worth her attention.

Main critique: coincidences, bland writing, and unlikeable characters

The video’s core argument is that the movie is built out of:

• Coincidence-stacked plotting (“and then coincidences, all strung together”)
• One-dimensional characters with no meaningful arcs
• Cringe/millennial superhero dialogue: safe-edgy quips and manufactured “James Gunnisms”
• Questionable cinematography, described humorously as if chili sauce was smeared on the lens

Rant about the writing/creative blame

The critic targets the writers specifically, including:

• A claimed mismatch in qualifications (suggesting the lead writer has minimal credits)
• A hiring process described as laughably undeserved
• An implication that the movie feels like a product engineered to chase online attention rather than craft characters

Critique of Cara’s characterization (“not a real flaw, just annoying”)

Cara is portrayed as:

• A self-insert-like teen/early-20s anti-hero who comes across as insufferable rather than compelling
• Someone who “acts cool” through constant attitude instead of believable growth
• Too young to plausibly carry the script’s attempt at a “jaded worldwise” vibe

The narrator contrasts this with older protagonists (e.g., John Wick / Jason Statham-style arcs) where that tone fits better.

There’s also an extended mini-argument that modern media often avoids making women “messy” in a realistic way due to stereotypes and constraints around “not making women seem weak,” which can produce unnatural writing.

Final verdict

Despite acknowledging hype/controversy around the film, the narrator concludes Supergirl is:

• bleak, uninspired, and generic
• weakened by its “unique selling point” (the idea of a Superman-like character as a girl)
• another nail in the coffin for superhero movies he believes are declining into “goop/go slop”

Notable jokes/reactions throughout

• Chili-sauce body horror used as a metaphor for the misery of watching
• Repeated “lucky” villain timing and “why wouldn’t he just kill the dog” logic
• Lobo’s brief appearance mocked as pure fan service, with speculation that he was “added in post-production”
• Comparisons to other superhero/media misfires (Captain Marvel, She-Hulk), plus “Snow White 2.0” as a shorthand insult
• Jabs at the “what if Superman was a girl” pitch as unoriginal and as not inspiring caring

Appearing personalities (as referenced)

• The video narrator/critic (primary speaker; not named in subtitles)
• “Brett” (mentioned as another speaker/voice)
• Jason Momoa / Lobo (actor character, discussed)
• James Gunn (name dropped/referenced)
• Anna Ngera (writer mentioned by name)
• Tom King (comic run author referenced)