Why you will never get ‘That Hair’. (I tried for 10 years, brutally honest)

Key takeaways (why “goal hair” may never happen)

• The video’s central argument is that genetics and hair type (e.g., naturally dry/fragile hair) can limit how much improvement hair care routines can deliver.
• Even after 10 years of trying multiple “major” hair methods—no-heat, natural products, masks, oils, scalp treatments, bond treatments, frequent trims—the creator didn’t reach the hair texture/health she wanted. She concludes this isn’t due to doing it “wrong.”

Wellness / self-care / productivity-adjacent strategies mentioned

• Manage expectations to reduce frustration and burnout:
  • Accept that routines can help, but may not transform hair dramatically if your baseline hair type is different.
  • Reframe hair care as support/maintenance rather than a guarantee of a specific result.
• Be realistic about what you can change:
  • The creator argues that you can improve hair somewhat, but you may not be able to change texture/strength/dryness significantly if genetics are the primary driver.
• Reduce comparison-driven stress:
  • Social media hair comparisons can be misleading because others may have different hair genetics, styling habits, and/or head/hairline structure.

Hair care methods and practices discussed (what she tried + what she learned)

Common “goal hair” routines she tried (implied mainstream approach)

• Cutting heat usage (including periods of no heat styling)
• Using “better” products (including no sulfates/no silicones at times)
• Regular oiling
• Weekly masks and other conditioning treatments
• Scalp treatments / protective practices
• Trimming dead ends
• Bond repair treatments (used occasionally)

Specific routines she used in later attempts to fix dryness

• A stricter “curly girl” / no-heat phase with natural products
• Then switching back to some heat occasionally but focusing on moisture:
  • Leave-in conditioner after washing
  • Hair oil after every wash (and sometimes daily)
  • Hair mask once or twice a month
  • Apple cider vinegar rinse about once a month
  • Bond repair mask about every couple of months
• Continued other basic/“protective” practices

What she concluded from the results

• If your hair is naturally dry and fragile, even intensive routines may only yield ~30% improvement (her estimate).
• She emphasizes that issues like split ends, breakage, frizz, and slow growth can be driven by hair type—not just routine.

Important “hidden variables” beyond product/heat

• Hairline & cowlicks affect how hair falls, frames the face, and how “voluminous” it can look.
  • She argues cowlicks can make certain bangs/fringe styles fail to sit correctly.
• Skull/head shape may influence overall hair volume and appearance.
• A myth she addresses:
  • You can’t truly retrain the direction of how hair grows, but you can sometimes guide how it lies through repetition/positioning.
• She also briefly mentions a baby condition (flathead syndrome) that can alter skull shape, which could affect how hair looks later.

Final mindset / self-acceptance guidance

• Learn to accept your hair as-is
  • Keep expectations realistic about achievable outcomes.
  • Work with the grain rather than trying to force a hairstyle that fights your natural growth pattern.
• Choose styles that your hair naturally supports
  • “Goal hair” may not be attainable, but you can still find styles your hair will look great with.

Presenters / Sources

• Presenter: Isabella Dearco (creator)