July 6, 2026

Key wellness strategies & self-care / productivity tips (from Cole’s healing update)

Practice nervous-system self-regulation when triggers hit

• Notice physical anxiety signals (e.g., “blood pressure getting higher”).
• Use deep breaths to calm down.
• Avoid getting stuck in overthinking/over-rationalizing; instead, accept what’s happening.

Expect setbacks as part of the healing process

• Treat the journey like “rehab”: daily effort, progress with ups and downs.
• Give yourself grace when you feel anger, sadness, or second-guessing.

Don’t block—face the discomfort head-on (when safe)

• The idea is that blocking can keep you stuck in rumination (e.g., wondering if they’re texting or thinking about you).
• Instead, let uncomfortable emotions be processed directly (cry, be angry, feel it) rather than avoided.
• Unsubscribing from triggering content can be a conscious choice to manage exposure.

Reduce fixation: keep living your life

• Don’t “pause” life waiting for someone else to change or reach you.
• Keep dating/going out/being social so you’re not feeding “desperate energy.”
• Examples of rebuilding routines:
  • hobbies
  • reading
  • exercise/dance classes
  • spending time with friends
  • vacation

Challenge “lies” and use daily affirmations

• Reassure yourself with mirror/self-talk:
  • “I am beautiful / handsome / wonderful / fearfully made.”
  • “God sees me as wonderful; God didn’t make mistakes.”
• Identity reframes:
  • “You’re the prize, not them.”
  • “Their loss.”

Set boundaries to protect your emotional health

• A core belief: people treat you how you treat yourself.
• Boundary examples:
  • If they misuse you emotionally or only call when convenient, end the access.
  • Example: “You can’t call me when you have problems—call them, not me.”
• If you tolerate disrespect after apologies, the behavior often continues—so stay consistent.

Change your behavior, not just your words

• Self-care consistency matters (not saying “I love myself” while neglecting yourself).
• Examples mentioned:
  • rest instead of over-drinking
  • prioritizing mental health
  • not running yourself ragged

Be loyal to yourself (timing + consent to your own plans)

• Don’t automatically drop everything for someone who wants your time.
• Check your energy first; use “rain checks” when you’re tired or resentful is likely.

Reframe interpretation: people may be “measuring,” not changing

• Intermittent contact from an ex/toxic partner may be to check your “temperature” and whether they still have leverage—not genuine accountability.
• This can reduce self-blame and obsessive hope.

Long-term healing requires time

• Like scars/surgery recovery, emotional recovery (brain/mind/heart) doesn’t happen overnight—it heals gradually.

---

Presenters / sources

• Presenter: Cole (speaker in the video)
• Source referenced: Christianity / the Bible phrase “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself” (and related idea of treating yourself well first)
• Referenced general beliefs: “God” / “universe” / “karma” concepts (no specific additional source named)