8 Self-Defeating Thoughts that Wreak Havoc

Cognitive Distortions

Dr. Tracey Marks explains that cognitive distortions are automatic patterns of thinking that can shape how we feel about ourselves and others. Everyone experiences them, but they can cause more difficulty when they happen often or are held rigidly.

Eight Common Cognitive Distortions

• Filtering: Focusing on the negative while overlooking positive information or other possible interpretations.
• Black-and-white thinking: Seeing things as entirely good or bad, without recognizing the gray areas.
• Overgeneralization: Exaggerating or taking a situation to an extreme.
• Mind reading: Assuming you know what someone else thinks or what will happen. These assumptions may reflect your own experiences and concerns rather than the other person’s actual thoughts.
• Emotional reasoning: Treating feelings as proof. Emotions are responses to facts, not facts themselves.
• “Should” statements: Overemphasizing how things should, ought to, or must be, which can create unrealistic expectations and lead to disappointment or resentment.
• Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case outcome, such as interpreting dizziness as a sign of impending death. Consider other, less serious explanations before jumping to a catastrophic conclusion.
• Personalization: Assuming events are about you or that you are responsible for problems, even when there may be other explanations.

Strategies and Takeaways

• When emotions are strong, look at the facts before responding or drawing a conclusion.
• Notice when you may be making assumptions about another person’s thoughts. A perceived negative “vibe” does not establish what they think.
• Reflect on which distortions you recognize in yourself as a first step toward addressing them.

CBT and Defense Mechanisms

Marks distinguishes the concepts this way: CBT focuses on current patterns of thinking and behavior that can be examined and changed, while defense mechanisms are described in psychoanalytic terms as automatic, often unconscious ways of fending off unwanted emotions.

Additional Resource

Marks mentions her calendar as a separate self-improvement resource, with weekly suggestions and motivational quotes.

Presenter and Sources

Dr. Tracey Marks; cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychoanalytic concepts.