The Real Reason Pastors Burn Out (It’s Not What You Think)

Summary

Pastoral burnout is not only about workload or fear. Chuck DeGroat argues that shame, isolation, and long-standing patterns of nervous-system dysregulation can keep leaders stuck in unhealthy ways of working. Leaders may appear capable and successful while running on chronic vigilance, until the cost shows up in their health, relationships, or ministry.

DeGroat describes three internal states using the shorthand “home, storm, and fog”: home is a grounded, connected state; storm is heightened activation and reactivity; and fog is shutdown or disconnection. His goal is not to help leaders become endlessly calm or work even more, but to build resilience: the capacity to return to a grounded state amid ordinary stress.

Wellness and self-care strategies

• Notice early warning signs instead of waiting for a crisis. These may include rising anxiety, irritability, withdrawal, chronic exhaustion, poor sleep, physical symptoms, drinking more, or feeling numb after work.
• Pay attention to your body. DeGroat recommends treating physical and emotional cues like dashboard warnings that signal when your pace or stress level may be unsustainable.
• Slow down enough to reflect. Reading about self-care is not the same as making room to notice what is happening beneath the surface. Therapy, retreats, and other forms of inner work may help create that space.
• Find practices that help you feel grounded. Silence, time outdoors, attention to breathing, contemplative prayer, and restorative time away were discussed as possible supports—not as quick fixes.
• Build in sleep, rest, and recreation. Carey describes how getting adequate sleep helped him work with greater clarity than pushing through fatigue.
• Develop resilience gradually. The aim is to widen your “window of tolerance” so stress is more manageable and recovery comes more readily—not to increase your capacity to stay busy.
• Return to a grounded state when you notice old patterns. DeGroat frames this as a repeated practice: recognize that you have slipped into “storm” or “fog,” then begin again without treating a setback as total failure.

Leadership and character practices

• Prioritize character alongside competence and charisma. Influence can outgrow a leader’s character if personal formation is neglected. DeGroat emphasizes qualities such as love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.
• Look for recurring patterns, not one bad day. Notice how you regularly show up with staff, family, and colleagues, and ask trusted people what it is like to work or live with you.
• Seek honest relationships and support. Mentors, therapists, coaches, trusted peers, and community can help leaders see patterns they may miss on their own.
• Address shame through connection. Shame can make people feel unworthy or unable to speak openly, increasing isolation and sometimes contributing to destructive behavior. DeGroat recommends carefully identifying safe people with whom to be honest.
• Make change slowly and thoughtfully. Rather than making abrupt decisions that upend work or relationships, consider what needs to change, who can support the process, and how to proceed sustainably.
• Treat feedback as information. Becoming more grounded can make it easier to hear others’ experiences without immediately becoming defensive.
• Use charisma responsibly. Charisma can attract people, but it is not a substitute for formation, accountability, or healthy structures.

Productivity and technology

• Work with your energy rather than forcing output. Rest and reflection can improve focus and clarity; they are not necessarily signs of laziness.
• Plan around demanding seasons. Ministry has busy periods, so leaders can anticipate them, protect recovery time, and avoid treating a temporary high-pressure season as a permanent norm.
• Use technology as a tool, not a replacement for human judgment. DeGroat and Carey discuss using AI to support productivity while preserving time for work that requires human care, thought, and discernment.

Presenters and sources

Presenters

• Carey Nieuwhof — host
• Chuck DeGroat — guest

Sources and thinkers mentioned

• Dallas Willard
• St. Augustine
• Thomas Merton
• Pete Scazzero
• Steve Cuss
• Rowan Williams
• James K. A. Smith
• Ronald Rolheiser
• Jean Vanier
• Henri Nouwen
• Jonathan Haidt
• Jean Twenge
• Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians (chapter 3) and the Book of Isaiah (chapter 30)