Big Tech Engineer in Beijing → 30, Rated “Unqualified”, Living Alone. How Did I Get Here?

Summary

Lucy recounts how a series of setbacks left her unemployed and unsure how to rebuild her life. She joined a Beijing tech company as a front-end developer in 2020, working long hours under the “996” schedule. Pandemic restrictions, workplace pressure, and worsening health problems left her feeling trapped and increasingly exhausted.

At the end of 2022, her manager rated her “unqualified,” affecting her bonus. Lucy challenged the decision through labor arbitration, but the conflict and effort took a toll. Her contract was not renewed in October 2023, and she accepted a settlement because she no longer had the energy to keep fighting.

Other difficulties compounded her stress. A congenital condition in her left eye led to surgery in 2022, followed by an infection and severely reduced vision. After a second surgery, her vision improved, though she still experiences after-effects.

Lucy also tried cross-border e-commerce, first selling pet supplies and then fishing gear. After moving from Beijing to Yiwu in October 2024 and listing more products, US tariffs disrupted her business and left her with little profit.

Afterward, Lucy spent around six months withdrawn and low on energy. She describes the loneliness of living far from many of her friends and the grief of losing her first dog. She now shares a 20-square-meter apartment with her younger sister and raises a second dog, Lumi. Although family members still ask about work and marriage, Lucy says she is learning not to depend on their approval.

Ideas and Next Steps

Lucy shares several ways she is trying to rebuild:

• Speak a language even when you are not fluent. She resumed learning English and uses speaking practice to improve, despite not having an English-speaking environment.
• Rebuild gradually. She is writing down what happened and trying to face reality rather than continuing to avoid it.
• Make videos. She sees creating videos as a way to keep showing up for herself and document the process.
• Keep future content manageable. She wants to make videos without heavy production or holding inventory, focusing on everyday life, Chinese food, lifestyle, technology, culture, and traditions.

Lucy does not yet know where her channel or business will lead, but sees recording and sharing as part of rebuilding.

Notable Locations, Products, and People

• Locations: Beijing and Yiwu
• Business: A cross-border e-commerce platform; pet supplies and fishing gear
• People: Lucy’s younger sister, former manager, and lawyer
• Pets: Lucy’s dogs, including Lumi