Dean Z on 5 Famous First Lines from Literature as Personal Statement Openings

Summary

Mike Spivey and Dean Z—Sarah Zearfoss, a former University of Michigan Law School admissions dean—evaluate five famous literary opening lines as hypothetical personal-statement openings. They consider each line as if it were original to the applicant, focusing on whether it sounds authentic, makes the reader curious, and leads into the applicant’s own story.

The Five Openings

1. “It was a wonderful evening, the kind of evening, dear reader, that is only possible when you are young.” — Rejected

   • They consider the “dear reader” address pretentious and contrived rather than authentic.
   • The claim that such an evening is possible only when young risks sounding presumptuous or dismissive of older readers.
   • They see this as a clear example of an opening that could alienate an admissions reader.

2. “When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from disturbing dreams, he found himself transformed into a giant insect in his bed.” — Engaging but unsuitable

   • The sentence is structurally captivating and creates an immediate desire to keep reading.
   • But its bizarre, apparently fabricated scenario seems poorly suited to a personal statement and may make the applicant seem as though they are trying too hard.
   • The speakers caution against writing a personal statement in the third person. Unusual openings can sometimes work, they say, but the risk is high.

3. “All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” — Potentially effective, with care

   • The absolute claim is provocative and invites the reader to question or argue with it.
   • It could lead into a personal, reflective discussion of the applicant’s family and its challenges.
   • Spivey is initially wary of the sweeping statement; Dean Z is more receptive. She emphasizes that applicants should write honestly as themselves rather than imitate the cautious, qualified language of practicing lawyers.
   • The opening would be weakened by adding more unsupported absolutes. Any broad claim should be followed by a thoughtful, personal explanation.

4. “I don’t know the exact moment it happened. It wasn’t really a moment. It was like you were holding a cup, staring out the window at nothing in particular, and still looking great doing it.” — Rejected

   • The sentence focuses on another person rather than the applicant and sounds like the start of a love story.
   • Even if the writing is memorable, a personal statement is not a love letter to the admissions committee or a way to tell someone else’s story.
   • Other people can appear in the essay, but the applicant’s own experience and perspective should remain central.

5. “Those were the best of times, those were the worst of times.” — Potentially effective

   • The contrast could introduce a reflection on hardship, growth, changing circumstances, or lessons learned.
   • It offers room for introspection, including how someone understands both the best and worst periods of their life.
   • The speakers note that applicants may write about political or controversial subjects. Applicants should recognize that readers may disagree with their views and write carefully, as they would when communicating professionally.
   • Both speakers agree that this opening—and the family opening above—could work if developed well.

Main Lessons for Personal-Statement Openings

• Be authentic: Avoid language that feels theatrical, affected, or designed mainly to impress.
• Keep the essay centered on yourself: Other people may be part of the story, but the applicant’s own choices, experiences, and reflections should lead it.
• Use a striking opening only if it fits the substance: A memorable sentence is not enough if it points toward an irrelevant or implausible story.
• Be careful with sweeping claims: A provocative assertion can create interest, but it needs personal reflection and support.
• Don’t force drama or novelty: An unusual opening can succeed, but it may also make the applicant appear to be trying too hard.
• Remember how admissions readers read: The statement is evaluated as written; applicants cannot rely on readers to supply context or interpret a line in a special way.
• Overall judgment: The family and “best of times” openings were the most promising. The other three would be difficult to make effective, with the “dear reader” opening considered an especially poor choice.

Speakers and Sources Featured

• Mike Spivey: Host and admissions consultant.
• Dean Z (Sarah Zearfoss): Former University of Michigan Law School admissions dean.
• Literary sources discussed:
  • Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis (Gregor Samsa).
  • Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (the family line).
  • Charles Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities (“best of times” / “worst of times”).
  • The author of the first quoted line is not named in the subtitles. The source of the fourth line is also unidentified; Spivey compares its style to J. D. Salinger.