What Men Actually Confess in a Legal Brothel

Paloma Karr’s Experience at Sheri’s Ranch

Paloma Karr, a pseudonym used by a New York novelist and journalist, tells Modern Love host Anna Martin how a painful breakup and worries about rent led her, at 47, to try working at Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada. She expected the job to be temporary and figured men would be “just a paycheck.” Instead, the work reshaped how she thought about sex, men, and herself.

Karr describes Paloma as an almost superhero-like alter ego: more carefree, bright, and sensual than her real-life self, who was often depressed. Inspired in part by HBO’s Cathouse, she imagined the brothel as a place of female camaraderie. The application process was unexpectedly casual, and when she mentioned her age, brothels told her it could be a selling point. Her first trip felt surreal: she left a literary festival with a suitcase full of inexpensive lingerie and heels, then arrived by limo in the remote desert.

A longtime worker gave her a practical crash course, including how the women set prices and prepare their rooms. Karr says the ranch’s rules and security made some interactions feel more structured and safer than dating. Her first client was a quiet man in his 30s. She negotiated twice the initial price, and the encounter ended quickly—but its ease left her thinking, jokingly, “Why would you do this for free?”

The Clients and Their Stories

The most memorable parts of the job, Karr says, were often the conversations. A young virgin client told her he had been deciding between going to the brothel and killing himself. Karr connected with him over depression, then spent part of their session helping him plan how to ask out a woman he liked at Starbucks.

She also recalls a middle-aged librarian who paid her to watch him pee his pants, a regular who loved being tickled for an hour, and a handsome cowboy who wanted to talk through his troubles with women. Karr jokes that she remembers the conversations far more clearly than the sex.

Those encounters challenged her assumptions about men. Clients often arrived nervous and vulnerable—even executives, pilots, and businessmen—and Karr came to see them as people who felt safe enough to share things they might not tell anyone else. She found herself enjoying some of their company and, unexpectedly, no longer hating men.

One especially lovely Fourth of July date ended with the client announcing that Karr had just been with her “first Republican.” She pointed out that the assumption was silly—and that it hadn’t ruined the day.

Challenges and What the Work Gave Her

The work wasn’t without serious downsides. Karr describes one violent encounter that left her bruised and troubled by how little support there seemed to be for processing it. She also struggled with the likelihood that some clients were cheating on their partners. Over time, however, she came to view the work as a professional service with clearer boundaries than an affair.

Karr says the brothel gave her financial breathing room, a satisfying two-weeks-working, two-weeks-off routine, and a sense of order. It also helped her become a more patient listener in her personal life. She was later fired amid a unionizing effort and says she hoped she might return; she misses both the routine and the confidence she found in being Paloma.

She stresses that the work can be traumatic and isn’t right for everyone, but says some of her experiences with clients felt genuinely loving.

Personalities Featured

• Anna Martin — Host
• Paloma Karr — Guest