Dlaczego po 25. roku życia nagle nie wiesz, co zrobić ze swoim życiem

Why Adulthood Can Feel Uncertain

People in their mid-20s and beyond may feel unsure about their lives because adulthood often doesn’t match the tidy picture they imagined when they were younger. After school and other structured milestones, there is no single path or instruction manual.

Social media can intensify the feeling of falling behind by showing carefully selected snapshots of other people’s lives. Meanwhile, the sheer number of career and lifestyle options can make decisions feel overwhelming.

The speaker describes a common cycle: rigid expectations and comparisons create anxiety; anxiety leads to rumination and avoidance; avoiding action means missing opportunities to gain new experiences; and that lack of experience can make a person feel even more stuck.

A period of uncertainty can instead be a chance to notice which expectations are inherited from others and what genuinely matters to you.

Strategies and Techniques

• Separate “shoulds” from needs. Write two columns in a journal: “I should…” and “I need…”. For each “should,” ask whether it reflects a real need or a standard absorbed from family, society, or the internet.
• Use small experiments instead of waiting for certainty. Try a manageable, time-limited test to learn whether an option suits you. For example, explore a career field for a month, try a hobby with a monthly pass, or spend a short period in a place you’re considering moving to. Treat the experience as a way to gather information, not as a permanent commitment.
• Take gradual steps toward what feels uncomfortable. Keep experiments realistic and within reach rather than making overwhelming leaps. You can learn from attempts that don’t work out and change direction.
• Choose a direction, not a perfect long-term plan. Instead of demanding a precise picture of your life in ten years, consider what qualities and values you want in work, relationships, friendships, and everyday life—such as autonomy, security, creativity, connection, or calm.
• Treat envy as information. Ask what you specifically envy in someone else’s situation. It might point not to their job or possessions, but to a need for freedom, stability, recognition, independence, courage, or adventure.
• Distinguish a harsh inner critic from a supportive “healthy adult.” The critic pressures, compares, and shames. A supportive response can still encourage effort while offering compassion: you don’t need to have everything figured out; uncertainty is not proof of failure; and an imperfect decision can teach you something.
• Allow your goals to change. Not every choice defines the rest of your life. You can try different things, revise decisions, and move at your own pace.
• Reflect on what you want more of. Consider this journaling prompt: If you set aside all your “shoulds,” what would you genuinely want more of in your life?

Presenter and Sources

• Presenter: Michał Brzegowy, psychologist and psychotherapist.
• Sources and approaches mentioned: Cognitive-behavioral therapy, including behavioral experiments and gradual exposure; schema therapy; consumer-psychology research on choice overload; and examples from the speaker’s personal experience and patients.