Why I Left The Mormon Church & how it ALMOST COST ME EVERYTHING

Overview

The video is a personal account of leaving the Mormon (LDS) Church after decades of commitment. It describes how doubt grew over time, what made leaving both psychologically and socially costly, and how the narrator’s marriage and family life changed afterward.

Main Arguments, Analyses, and Storyline

Deep lifelong involvement, then gradual collapse of certainty

• The narrator describes being raised in Mormonism in Utah.
• He was baptized and confirmed as a child, progressed through priesthood offices, and served a two-year LDS mission in Minnesota/Wisconsin.
• After the mission, he married in the Mormon temple—a later sticking point because his father was inactive and couldn’t attend due to not following the church’s Word of Wisdom (rules against alcohol, tobacco, coffee, and tea).
• He was heavily involved in church life, especially with youth activities and teaching.

Leaving framed as an “everything-at-stake” decision

• Mormon doctrine emphasizes families being together forever through temple ordinances and sealing.
• The narrator presents leaving (“disaffection”) as carrying extreme consequences:
  • fear of losing eternal family unity
  • social shunning
  • marital rupture—especially for temple-sealed families

A move to California triggers doubt

• The narrator moves from Utah to Southern California to start a business and expects to enter a “mission field.”
• He believed non-Mormons lacked “fullness of joy, happiness, and truth.”
• Instead, he encounters marriages and meaningful lives among non-Mormons.
• He starts asking: what if they don’t need anything Mormonism offers to live happily and truthfully?
• This question opens the “door” to disbelief, though he initially remains committed and silent.

Temple experience becomes a turning point

• While taking youth to do baptisms for the dead, he observes discomfort on the teens’ faces.
• He reflects on the idea that proxy baptisms are performed for people who didn’t join the church.
• He says he realizes he had never truly asked the core doubt-question: “What if it’s not true?”
• He contrasts this with his lifelong mantra that he “knows” the church is true; the shift from certainty to possibility allows him to see inconsistencies.

Secrecy for about two years, then a breaking point

• He describes trying to stay outwardly loyal while internally doubting and resisting callings.
• As his youngest child approaches baptism age, he claims he baptized a child while personally disbelieving.
• He carefully avoids explicitly religious content in his statements, focusing instead on love and hopes for the child.

Discovery of “troublesome” history/doctrine via an ex-member

• He learns someone close to him is also leaving Mormonism.
• They share resources (books/podcasts) containing church history/doctrine that he says the church warns about from outside sources.
• He describes going “down a rabbit hole” for about three months until certainty formed that he was “out.”

Marital crisis and conflict with church ties

• He tells his wife he’s leaving, triggering intense conflict for nearly 18 months.
• Arguments center on:
  • church attendance
  • raising children
• He describes fear that his wife (and children) would face spiritual consequences due to his loss of priesthood authority in the home.

• He admits making serious mistakes while angry, including:

  • public posts on Facebook
  • attempts to convince others These actions damaged relationships.

• Over time, his wife investigates on her own journey and eventually leaves as well—first slowly, then more quickly.

Different “stages” after leaving

• Angry stage: pushing back loudly, trying to persuade others, and regretting harmful conduct.
• Acceptance stage: anger receding and replaced with curiosity, love, and gratitude.
• Peace stage: he emphasizes he seeks neither revenge nor a “reconciliation-with-revenge” logic; he feels content even without certainty about God.

Key Conclusions and Reported Takeaways

Not claiming leaving automatically brings happiness

• Unlike many ex-Mormon narratives, he says he does not find it accurate that people are simply “happier” after leaving.
• He frames life as involving ups and downs either way.
• For him, the difference is greater peace with himself, not guaranteed joy.

Maintains values, rejects LDS institutional claims

• He separates the church’s personal and relationship benefits from the harm and pain it caused, calling it a paradox he still can’t fully reconcile.
• On belief, he says he doesn’t know whether God exists and that—practically—he now prioritizes being a good person and reducing suffering, regardless of whether Mormon theology is true.

Presenter / Contributor

• Presenter/Author: The video narrator (name not provided in the subtitles).