102 – How to End a Counselling Session

Summary

The episode covers three practical topics in counselling: explaining a therapeutic approach, ending a session well, and responding when a client asks for advice.

1. Explaining your therapeutic approach

Explain what clients can expect from counselling, including what is and is not offered. This is especially important during the initial contracting process. Ask whether the client has had therapy before and how they experienced it, as this can reveal expectations shaped by previous counselling.

How much of the therapeutic model to explain depends on the approach:

• CBT and transactional analysis (TA) may require teaching clients key parts of the model, since the approach actively uses those ideas in the work.
• Person-centred therapy does not require clients to learn the theory. The counsellor can explain it simply: the client leads, while the counsellor offers space and support without directing them or telling them what to do.

Avoid overloading clients with theoretical terminology. Explaining concepts such as conditions of worth or introjected values may shift attention away from the client’s experience and leave them confused.

The speakers emphasize that the therapeutic relationship is central to positive outcomes, referring to research by John Norcross on the importance of relationship quality.

2. Ending a counselling session

Plan how to end the session from the beginning rather than improvising at the last moment.

At the start, state how long the session will last and explain that you will give a reminder near the end. For example: “We have around 50 minutes, and I’ll remind us when we have about five minutes left.”

Manage the time boundary as the counsellor. This allows the client to focus on their own material rather than having to monitor the clock. As the session closes, use summarizing to reflect what the client has shared, validate it, and signal that the session is ending. Keep the room clock working and manage time consistently.

Pitfalls and how to respond

• Opening up a new topic too late: Avoid asking “Is there anything else?” when only a few minutes remain if there is not enough time to explore the answer. Acknowledge the issue and suggest returning to it in the next session.
• Extending the session: Regularly running over can make time boundaries seem unreliable.
• Ending abruptly: A sudden cutoff may leave a client feeling confused or dismissed.
• A “door-knob” disclosure: If a client reveals important new material while leaving:
  • First assess whether there is a risk of harm to the client or someone else.
  • If risk is disclosed, follow the placement’s procedures.
  • If the material is new but there is no immediate risk, acknowledge it respectfully and arrange to explore it in the next session.

3. Responding when clients ask for advice

The speakers advise counsellors not to give clients personal advice. Advice often reflects the counsellor’s own experiences and values, which may not fit the client’s circumstances. It can also become directive or judgmental, undermine the client’s autonomy, and limit their opportunity to find their own solution.

Instead of answering “What should I do?”, a counsellor might ask:

“If a friend were going through the same difficulty, what would you say to them?”

This can help the client view the situation differently and recognize their own ideas.

If a client asks what the counsellor would do, one tutor’s response, recalled by Rory, was:

“Anything I’d want to.”

The point is to return agency to the client rather than prescribe a course of action. The speakers distinguish counselling from ordinary advice-giving: the counsellor’s role is to facilitate the client’s exploration, not to provide a solution that worked for someone else.

Speakers and sources mentioned

Speakers: Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly.

People and sources referenced:

• John Norcross, in connection with research on the therapeutic relationship
• Carl Rogers and person-centred therapy
• Eric Berne and transactional analysis
• Bob Cook, mentioned in relation to TA
• Hagen and Charlotte Sills, mentioned in relation to relational TA
• The BACP website, recalled as a source discussing advice-giving
• The Counselling Tutor Podcast and Counselling Study Resource, presented by Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly