Snyder’s Batman Is Terrible (And Here’s Why)

Central Argument

The essay argues that Zack Snyder’s Batman is striking-looking and physically formidable, but disappointing because he misses much of what makes the character compelling. The narrator identifies four key qualities of Batman: resolve, intellect, integrity, and physical prowess. Snyder’s version gets the last one right, the essay argues, while the other three are largely absent or mishandled.

Batman’s Intellect and Resolve

To show how Batman can prevail through cleverness rather than brute force, the essay points to stories where he outthinks his opponents. In Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Batman defeats a much stronger foe with a gas-mask trick. In an animated Justice League episode, he manipulates a roomful of villains while appearing helpless. The scene even includes a joke about Cheetah being “sus,” with the group effectively voting her out as the impostor.

By contrast, Snyder’s Batman rarely demonstrates comparable ingenuity. In Justice League, he approaches a newly resurrected Superman without a real plan and gets blasted. The narrator imagines a mock “deleted scene” in which Batman talks himself into this obviously bad idea.

The essay gives Snyder’s Batman credit for one memorable display of resolve: charging toward danger while everyone else runs away. But it argues that the films do not develop this into a meaningful test of character, unlike Bruce’s struggle to escape Bane’s pit in The Dark Knight Rises or his resistance to the Joker’s influence in Arkham Knight.

Integrity and the No-Kill Code

The essay also praises Batman’s physical prowess, then turns to the most contentious issue: Snyder’s Batman kills.

The narrator’s central criticism is not simply that “Batman kills, therefore bad.” Rather, integrity is central to Batman, and Snyder’s version abandons it without a convincing story reason. The essay contrasts this with Injustice, where Superman’s corruption is the premise of the story, and argues that a dark tone does not require turning Batman into a killer.

The narrator jokingly compares Snyder to a builder using a hammer on a screw: the grim tone might be achieved, but Batman is needlessly warped in the process. The essay also quotes Snyder dismissing the idea that heroes should remain innocent, arguing that these comments reveal a fundamental disagreement about what makes Batman work.

An Alternate Batman v Superman

The essay’s longest section proposes a different approach to Batman v Superman. Instead of making Batman and Superman enemies who abruptly reconcile after the infamous “Martha” moment, the rewrite turns the film into a buddy-cop mystery.

Batman investigates a supply of alien kryptonite weapons while reluctantly teaming up with an eager Superman. Bruce’s wound is more sympathetic: Robin’s death has made him afraid to trust or work with anyone, rather than turning him into a murderer. Superman gradually helps Bruce confront that guilt.

The proposed villain is a calculating, comics-inspired Lex Luthor: a public philanthropist who secretly manipulates the media and plots against Superman. The mystery leads Batman and Superman to discover that Lex has accessed Kryptonian technology, erased the ship’s records, and created a dangerous Superman clone.

In the climax, Batman uses his detective skills and forms a temporary alliance with Deathstroke and other assassins to defeat the clone. He then tricks Lex into confessing. Commissioner Gordon, disguised in Batman’s suit, records the exchange despite Lex’s attempt to use an EMP.

The rewrite ends with Bruce deciding to build a team in Superman’s memory. In a prison scene, Batman tells Lex that even if he were a killer, he would have spared him. The narrator adds a Batman-style threat, joking that only the insane would try to kill him twice.

An Alternate Justice League

For Justice League, the narrator proposes making Batman a genuine mentor to Flash. During Superman’s resurrection, Bruce has a contingency ready and coordinates with Alfred instead of simply walking into danger.

In the climax, Batman protects Flash while Barry builds the charge needed to stop the Mother Boxes. When parademons capture Barry, Bruce deliberately lets himself be taken too, breaks into his cell, and helps rescue him. He even takes a potential hit from Darkseid’s Omega Beam to protect Barry, before the film’s timeline-reversal climax continues as before.

The narrator’s point is that these changes preserve the broad plot while giving Batman opportunities to lead, strategize, and show loyalty.

Tone and Personalities

The essay is peppered with self-deprecating and irreverent jokes. The narrator promises a refund if he fails to persuade viewers, admits he still plays RuneScape, describes Snyder’s Batman’s car-combat as “miniguns go brrrr,” and threatens to make a video claiming The Room is secretly a masterpiece if viewers do not subscribe.

Personalities featured or discussed: Henry Boseley (the narrator), Zack Snyder, Batman/Bruce Wayne, Superman/Clark Kent, Lex Luthor, Alfred, Lois Lane, Robin/Jason Todd, Deathstroke, Commissioner Gordon, Flash/Barry Allen, Wonder Woman, and Darkseid.