How I Cold Approach

Overview

Reply from Hamza to a reader who’s been cold-approaching, getting numbers, then being ghosted. Main focus areas: mindset, in-person technique, simple logistics/texting to reduce flakes, and long-term self-improvement.

Key actionable tips

Mindset / attraction basics

• Be the kind of man who already has options — mimic confident, “sexually satisfied” energy even if it’s not fully true yet. Act relaxed and a little “lazy” about getting her attention.
• Avoid neediness; needy behavior in voice, texting, or body language kills attraction.
• Invest in long-term self-improvement (fitness, finances, social skill). Sexual market value (SMV) tends to increase with time and experience.

Approaching in person

• When you make eye contact, go straight over — any delay reduces attraction.
• Keep approaches short and high-energy: aim for 30–45 seconds of flirt/rapport, then exit on a high point.
• Use confident body language:
  • Walk directly toward her and point your feet at her.
  • Hold steady eye contact.
  • Use a lower/sexier voice and steady breathing.
• Flirt quickly, give a clear compliment, ask for her name, get her number, then exit before the conversation becomes awkward or low-energy.
• Small physical contact can help when appropriate (e.g., a slightly lingering handshake or light touch).
• Don’t linger once the conversation dies — leaving on the high creates a better lasting impression.

Texting & arranging the date

• Keep texts logistical and simple. Invite her to an existing plan rather than asking her to commit. Example: “It’s Hamza. I’m going for coffee at 11:00 tomorrow. Come join me.”
• Aim to set the date the same day or the next day — shorter wait times reduce flaking.
• Minimize long pre-date texting — extended message threads before meeting usually lower attraction and encourage over-investment.
• Remove logistical friction: offer to send an Uber/taxi or pick her up so she doesn’t have to solve transport problems.
• If she asks what to wear or where to meet, give clear venue details — people want to know what to expect.

Common mistakes to avoid

• Over-texting and trying to build attraction through messages.
• Lingering in person or allowing awkward pauses — these lower her impression.
• Hesitation before approaching or before leaving — both reduce perceived confidence.
• Fixating on exact wording instead of improving who you are — two men can send the same message and get different responses depending on presence/identity.

Practice & learning

• Cold approach is a numbers game: more experience yields better results.
• Revisit basics often — even experienced guys benefit from reviewing fundamental concepts.
• Consume targeted dating and social-skill material, and stay humble enough to review the basics regularly.

Other notes

• Speaker: Hamza (the reply begins “Dear Hamza”).

• Example text script:

  “It’s Hamza. I’m going for coffee at 11:00 tomorrow. Come join me.”

• Typical locations/situations mentioned: gym, airports, outside, classes; references include UK and Thailand contexts.

• Logistics/tools referenced: Uber, bike/taxi pickup.
• Recommended reading referenced: Sperm Wars.
• Product/community: paid courses and a community link (top link in the video description) for dating, quitting porn, fitness, and self-improvement.