i made a movie. it stunk.

Austin McConnell’s DIY Filmmaking Origin Story

Austin McConnell revisits how he moved from critiquing other people’s work to making his own feature. After a year of posting as a critic, he decides to stop reviewing and start writing/directing. Buoyed by early short-film wins, a big magazine article, and a growing quarter-life crisis, he sets a one-year deadline: either become a “real” filmmaker or return to TV news work.

Crowdfunding + Getting Momentum (and Getting Humbled)

Austin funds his debut feature, Sprouting Orchids, with a tiny $3,000 IndieGoGo goal—only to raise $1,245 from eight donors. A single “angel” investor covers the rest.

Even on the limited budget, he keeps pushing forward:

• casting
• location scouting
• booking a premiere at a local art-house cinema

He plays a supporting role while also handling much of the production and post-production himself.

The Movie’s Premise (and Why He Thought It Was Genius)

Sprouting Orchids is pitched as a cosmic sci-fi romance. Two strangers, Lincoln and Rachel, both suffer identical strokes caused by an ancient alien beacon being activated—one orchestrated by a controlling “puppet master” archaeologist.

Three years later:

• Rachel becomes devout Christian
• Lincoln stays sober and works as a high school janitor

They meet, share secrets, fall in love, and are later confronted as the archaeologist tries to assimilate them so an off-screen alien army can arrive.

Austin admits the idea still felt “cool” to him at the time, even if he later recognizes major narrative flaws.

Three Standout Days on Set (Worst → Best)

1. Grocery Store Day (Worst scene → worst outcome)

• A key action scene is filmed in a real supermarket thanks to Hi-V, but the schedule is extremely tight: only two hours, and the cinematographer can shoot for just one.
• The result is rushed coverage with shaky/limited shots—he describes the overall outcome as less than stellar.
• The day is also marked by brutal heat and late starts.

He jokingly frames the final product as looking “amateur,” saying the day taught him that rushing destroys quality.

2. Art Gallery Day (Location collapse → problem-solving success)

• They arrive for a planned art-gallery shoot and discover the location was not secured.
• A key scene must be rewritten on the fly, which:
  • eliminates rehearsals
  • wastes two hours
  • harms morale and creates an “amateur vibe”

Then a backer saves the day by opening their family hair salon for overnight filming. Austin rewrites the scene again so Lincoln can hide using a better-looking storefront mirror setup.

Austin credits this day with teaching him to stay calm, improvise, and take the time to solve problems—because it becomes the film’s best-looking sequence.

3. Final Act Climax Day (Best day → high stakes + chaos)

For the hostage/ritual/beacon activation finale:

• two male actors need to fly in from Texas (with little or no chance of reshoots)
• the set is exhausted and stressed
• the conditions are harsh: relentless mosquitoes, intense heat, power/battery shortages, and complex prop-based staging

During a fight scene:

• a fake punch becomes real
• Austin’s nose gets cracked
• he notes it briefly boosts morale because everyone is so burned out that the “fix” changes the mood

Despite everything, they:

• shoot 17 pages
• capture dialogue-heavy energy
• execute staged action (running/throwing)
• wrap successfully

They celebrate with ice cream and describe it as “good kind of tired.”

Post-Production + Failure at Festivals (with Sharp Criticism)

Post-production is described as slow and punishing—18-hour days staring at an Adobe timeline, replaying clips repeatedly.

Major gatekeepers reject the film:

• Sundance
• Slamdance
• studio distribution

It only plays a small number of festivals (including a brief selection in a niche event) and receives limited UK theatrical exposure they can’t personally attend due to money.

Austin reflects on early criticism, including the film being called an “intriguingly wonderful mess.” Shots and moments are praised, but detractors point to:

• unclear pacing shifts (“mystery drops” into “why/what/where did that come from?”)
• narrative progression that turns into confusion
• audio issues (cackling/buzz artifacts)
• a villain that feels like a bland office figure rather than a compelling threat

It later gets a modest theatrical run and an on-demand phase (Vimeo/Amazon), but it barely recoups its budget, resulting in an overall loss.

The Real Punchline: He Made the Movie as Proof of Worth—not Art

The emotional climax, for Austin, isn’t the film’s reception—it’s his admission that some of his motivation was vanity. He made the movie so he could say “I made a movie,” not necessarily to entertain or teach through a story he fully believed in.

He describes the film as a large learning experience, but also admits he spiraled during production/post-production due to:

• stress from moving
• key people being displaced by life changes
• technical failures (his editing system broke)
• location dropouts
• sleepless, isolated overwork

He even describes suicidal-level pressure driven by the fear of not finishing—an unhealthy mindset he regrets and now recognizes as dangerous.

Aftermath: Learning, Regret, and Refusing to Watch It Anymore

Austin says he can’t watch the movie now because he no longer sees the story. Instead, he sees:

• exhaustion
• locations and crew frustration
• personal hardship
• lost versions of himself

Where a viewer might see romantic montage moments, he sees real-life memories and the anxious young filmmaker he used to be.

Still, he frames it as growth. He concludes he wants to try again—with better perspective and better planning—because he genuinely needs to tell stories.

Notable Jokes / Key Reactions

• He repeatedly undercuts himself with self-roasts about low-budget chaos (e.g., “amateur” grocery store scene; later collapsing “mystery” elements).
• The nose-cracking moment becomes darkly funny because it briefly “boosts morale” when everyone’s burned out.
• He sarcastically calls his experience “film school,” contrasting pricey formal education with the brutal lessons of actually making a movie.

Main Plot (Quick Recap)

Austin sets out to make his first feature, Sprouting Orchids, using tiny-budget crowdfunding, improvisation, and frantic production—especially when locations fail. He finishes the film, but major festivals reject it and critics focus on narrative/pacing and technical problems. Austin views the experience as a brutal, yet valuable education that reshaped him emotionally and professionally.

Personalities (People Mentioned)

• Austin McConnell — speaker/filmmaker; plays Lincoln
• Lance — best friend; cinematographer
• Kyle — actor who played the archaeologist
• Alex — actor who played the archaeologist’s assistant
• Hi-V — supermarket chain / location help
• Mr. Sam Co — credited as “Mr. Sam Co” in the review segment
• John Huston and Sam Peckinpah — quoted filmmakers
• Springfield film community / local backers / angel investor — support roles