You’re Not the Only One Wondering This

Overview: “Asking for a Friend” Church Message Series

• The video is part of a church message series titled “Asking for a Friend.”
• The speaker states that over 4,000 viewer questions were submitted, many of them personal and challenging.
• The guiding approach is to answer based on Scripture rather than culture or what’s popular.
• When Scripture doesn’t address a situation directly, the speaker proposes using Biblical principles with humility, aiming for truth and grace without arrogance or division.

1) Masturbation Question: A Bible-Based Framework (Not “What People Say”)

What the Bible directly addresses

• The Bible does not speak directly about masturbation.
• The speaker rejects claims such as “you go blind” as unbiblical folklore.

How the Bible is used in the message

• The speaker discusses Genesis 38 / Onan, but argues it’s not a direct reference to masturbation; rather, it relates to responsibility involving Tamar.
• Instead, the message builds its framework from broader biblical themes:
  • Lust (citing Matthew 5:28: lustful looking is serious sin)
  • Purity and self-control, including not being controlled by anything (citing 1 Corinthians 6, including 1 Corinthians 6:12 about not being mastered)

A practical decision framework

1. Is lust involved? (porn, fantasizing, or lusting)
2. Is it controlling you? (becoming compulsive; interfering with God, people, or responsibilities)
3. Is it moving you toward holiness or away from it?

Pastoral emphasis: grace vs. truth depending on the person

• If someone is rationalizing sin, lead with truth and call them to stop justifying what God wants to change.
• If someone is stuck in shame/condemnation but genuinely pursuing God, lead with grace, citing Romans 2:4 (God’s kindness leads people away from sin, not to excuse it).

Call to healing

• Start healing now by:
  • Confessing to God
  • (Though described as awkward but helpful) confessing to appropriate people for prayer and accountability (James referenced)

2) Tithing Question: “Why Give if It’s Old Testament?”

The speaker’s argument

• Old Testament tithes were often agricultural, but the principle is older than the Mosaic law.
• Example: Abraham gave a tenth before Moses.

Core message: money reveals trust and worship

• God cares about money because tithing is about:
  • Trust
  • Worship
  • Who your source is

Key New Testament passages used

• Matthew 6:21: where treasure is, the heart follows
• Matthew 6:24: no one serves both God and money

“Mammon” framing

• Money is described as a “false god” (mammon) because it promises what only God can provide.

Personal conviction and balance

• Tithing predates the law, so it doesn’t “expire.”
• The speaker affirms Jesus’ teaching but warns not to neglect more important matters such as justice, mercy, and kindness (Matthew 23:23).
• Tithing is framed as a starting point, not the minimum: “How generous can I be” in devotion and generosity.

3) “What Happens When We Die?” (Hope for Believers)

A concise biblical summary

• The speaker acknowledges he can’t answer everything quickly but provides key Scripture points.

Scriptural highlights

• Jesus: believers will “live” even though they die (John 11:25)
• Paul: death is not the end; believers are “at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5)
• The repentant thief: “Today… with me in paradise” (Luke reference implied)

What happens at Jesus’ return

• Resurrection of believers: bodies are raised, not disembodied spirits (1 Corinthians 15)
• New creation: a new heaven and new earth where God dwells with His people (Revelation 21)

Takeaway

• For those “in Christ,” death is not final—God will ultimately make everything right.

4) Marriage: “Not Loving My Spouse Anymore”

Key pastoral premise

• The speaker acknowledges unmet expectations.
• Losing feelings does not automatically mean the marriage is over.

Core teachings

• Feelings are real, but they change; don’t base permanent decisions on temporary emotions.
• Choose love, not just “falling in love.”
• 1 Corinthians 13: love is defined primarily by actions and commitments (patient, kind, not self-seeking), not primarily a feeling.

Practical guidance

• Start doing loving actions again so feelings can follow:
  • talk
  • date
  • apologize
  • repent
  • pray together

Counseling/education guidance

• Seek help and counseling, and involve campus pastors when the marriage feels beyond repair.
• Important exception: the speaker explicitly says this is not about abuse—in danger, people must get help.

Promise

• Restoration is possible if both partners surrender to God.

5) “How Do I Know If I’m Really Saved?” (Salvation by Faith, Not Feelings)

The speaker’s standard

• The answer should come from God’s Word, not shifting emotions.

Salvation essentials from Scripture

• Romans 10:9: confess Jesus as Lord and believe God raised Him—“you will be saved.”
• Ephesians 2:8–9: saved by grace through faith, not works.

Assurance and righteousness through Christ

• God sees believers as righteous through Christ (illustrated with prodigal son imagery: the robe of righteousness).

Salvation isn’t a license to sin

• Romans 6:1–4: believers have died to sin; their desires change.

Spiritual warfare framing

• After turning to Christ, the enemy may tempt and then accuse (“you’re not saved”).
• The speaker counters with assurance that nothing can separate believers from God’s love in Christ (Romans referenced implied).

Reflective call near the end

• The service includes a call to reflect on areas where people may be settling for less spiritually, sexually, financially, relationally, or emotionally.

Invitation / Altar Call: Public Assurance and Prayer

• The speaker leads an end-of-message response for those unsure about their spiritual standing.
• Uses a 1–10 certainty scale to encourage honesty; if not at 10, he urges them to get sure using the gospel.
• Encourages public confession:
  • Those who respond are led to pray publicly to surrender to Jesus.
  • Baptism is presented as the next step (symbolizing forgiveness and new life).
• Campus pastors then take over to lead prayer for those responding online and in person.

Presenters / Contributors

• Pastor Craig — main speaker
• Amy — mentioned regarding advising not to tell jokes
• Pastor JP — mentioned by name during the salvation certainty prompt
• Campus pastors — including Pastor Sam, called on to lead campus prayer and prayer during response
• Additional campus pastors are referenced generally (no further names provided)