Video summary

Editor Fixes Common Prose Mistakes (Part 1)

Main summary

Key takeaways

Educational

Main ideas / lessons

  • Great plots still fail when prose is mechanically “clunky.” Many common editing fixes don’t require advanced techniques—just small, repeatable habits you can correct quickly.
  • Immersion comes from removing unnecessary distance and adding variety at the sentence level.
  • The speaker presents three recurring “prose mistakes” and how to fix each with practical tools and before/after rewrites.

The 3 “Editor Fixes” (with methods/instructions)

1) Cut the habit of starting sentences with a pronoun + a filter word

Problem (what it does)

Starting sentences like “I saw / he realized / she heard / they noticed” plus filter words tells the reader what the character experiences instead of letting the reader experience it directly. This creates distance and makes prose feel stale, simplistic, and far away.

What to do instead (how to fix it)

  • Don’t always start with a pronoun.
  • Avoid pronoun + filter word structures where possible.
  • Use sentence-level restructuring:
    • When you remove filter words but keep pronoun starts: vary the subject so consecutive sentences don’t share the same pattern.
      • “He moved his hands to the table” → “His hands moved to the table.”
      • “He sat down on a chair with a squeak” → “The chair squeaked under his weight.”
    • When you remove pronoun + filter words: make the sentence more direct.
      • “I saw the woman join him at the table.” → “The woman joined him at the table.”
      • “I realized that they must have known each other already.” → “Had they met before.”

Practice exercise (detailed steps)

  1. Take a paragraph from your draft.

  2. Highlight every filter word, including common ones mentioned: “saw, heard, realized, noticed, thought, felt, seemed” (The speaker alludes to “um,” but the main filter-word set is those listed above.)

  3. Challenge yourself to cut at least half of them.

  4. Focus on how much stronger/immediate the prose becomes and how it stops repeating the same sentence structure.

Before → after example (filter-word cut)

  • Before: “He saw the downstairs door swing open and heard the footsteps echo in the hallway. He realized someone had come back early…”
  • After: “The downstairs door swung open and footsteps echoed in the hallway. Someone had come back early…”
  • Result described: more variety, closer presence “in the room,” less observational distance.

2) Vary sentence length to control rhythm and pacing

Problem (what it does)

Overusing mid-length “safe” sentences produces flat pacing. When tension/action and emotion are written with similar rhythms, the scene loses impact.

Guiding principle

  • Short sentences add urgency, punch, tension.
  • Long sentences slow the reader, build atmosphere, and can mirror spiraling thoughts.

How to fix it (method)

  1. Identify what you want the reader to feel in that moment (tension, urgency, spiraling emotion, etc.).
  2. Rewrite by adjusting sentence length to match the intended emotional/pacing function.

Before → after example (same “flat droning rhythm,” then revised)

  • Emotional scene (initial version): multiple sentences of similar length, described as droning/boring.
  • Emotional scene (revised): length varies and adds specific imagery and thought content.
    • Example approach shown: combine long flowing imagery with sharper beats to create emotional movement (e.g., repeated “If she had just…” logic and sensory/emotional specifics).
  • Action scene (revised): uses short, punchy fragments and rhythmic commands.
    • Technique described: short thought inserts like “Left turn, don’t look back. Faster. Lose him in the traffic.”
    • The cadence is compared to a heartbeat to create momentum and purpose.

3) Vary what you put into sentences (add layers beyond just actions)

Problem (what it does)

If every sentence only describes physical actions (“walked, looked, sat, turned”), writing can start to feel like stage directions rather than a lived experience.

What readers also need

What characters sense, notice, remember, question, and feel. Variety in sentence “content” creates depth, texture, and aliveness.

How to fix it (sentence content options to cycle through)

Add one or more layers (not only action):

  • Sensory description (what something looks/smells/feels like)
  • Direct character thoughts or commentary
  • Rhetorical questions
  • Exclamations or sound effects
  • Contextual backstory (lightly implied/embedded)
  • Actions (yes), but not only actions

Concept: write “in layers.”

  • Action gives momentum
  • Thought/sensation/memory gives depth

Before → after example (action-only passage becomes layered)

  • Before: a plain sequence of actions (open cupboard, grab glass, fill, gulp, wipe hands, think owner unlikely to return, decide to stay).
  • After: expanded with:
    • setting details (dusty rim, shrieking hinges, sour smell, greasy stove, absence of other humans)
    • sensory/emotional response (cold water, throat burning with relief)
    • implications/backstory (plumbing still works; abandoned place; past catching up)
    • a reluctant decision framed through internal negotiation and safety concerns
  • Result described: more character psychology in real time, stronger worldbuilding, atmosphere, and decision-making clarity.

Overall takeaway

These three fixes—cut pronouns + filter words, vary sentence length, and vary sentence content—are small changes that significantly increase immersion and make prose feel less flat and more alive.

Speakers / sources featured

  • Primary speaker: An editor and writing coach (the host/creator of the video), who teaches and demonstrates prose editing fixes. No other people are clearly identified as speakers in the subtitles.

Original video