5 Sexual Bible Verses | Oral Sex in the Bible?

Main ideas / concepts conveyed

• Church should be able to talk about sex in marriage. The speaker frames the topic as uncomfortable for many Christians (“awkward talking about sex in church”), then argues that marriage is precisely where God intends sexual intimacy to be healthy, open, and joyful.

• Song of Songs is presented as an explicitly sexual celebration of husband-and-wife intimacy.

  • It is described as ancient erotic poetry written ~3,000 years ago.
  • The speaker claims it’s fundamentally about marriage and enjoying sex within marriage.

• Rejection of “allegory” interpretations.

  • The speaker argues some Bible scholars refuse the book’s literal meaning and instead reinterpret it symbolically (allegory).
  • Several examples of “weird interpretations” are mocked to support the claim that more literal reading is appropriate.

• Communication is treated as essential to sexual fulfillment.

  • Couples are encouraged to talk about desires, figure out what they like, and treat each other as servants sexually (“serve one another sexually”).
  • The speaker emphasizes that couples often have sex but don’t talk about it, which they consider “weird” and unhelpful.

• A “sex menu” model is introduced.

  • Intimacy is organized into categories—appetizers (foreplay), main course (regular acts), specials (new experiences), and dessert (aftercare/snuggling/back rubs)—and couples should discuss what stays on the menu and what new “specials” to try.

• The talk uses multiple Bible passages in the Song of Songs as examples of “spicy” intimacy themes.

  • It highlights how both spouses speak, desire, guide, praise, and initiate.

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Detailed bullet-point list of “methodology” / instructional content

1) Comforting the audience and framing the lesson

• Admit that sex talk in church feels awkward to many.
• Pray for “self-control” and teach that the Bible is “perfect and true.”
• Present the talk goal:
  • Walk through five “spicy sections” of the Song of Songs.
  • Treat the book as a real romance between spouses rather than allegory.

2) Encourage direct sexual communication (especially for wives)

• Claim the wife in Song of Songs speaks first and repeatedly about what she wants.
• Instruction for wives (implied):
  • It is acceptable to express desires verbally to a husband.
  • Give specific guidance on what you like (“tell your husband what you like”).
  • Remove the “awkwardness” barrier and initiate conversations.
• Instruction for couples generally:
  • Each spouse should identify what they like and tell the other.
  • Be servants to each other sexually.
  • Don’t treat sex as something you only do privately—talk about it to increase mutual enjoyment.

3) Read the Song of Songs as a “sexual intimacy guide” rather than a coded metaphor

• Treat passages as describing:
  • kissing, scent/arousal, embraces/caresses
  • mutual affection and invitation into intimacy
  • praise of the spouse’s body using poetic metaphor
• Use commentary quotes (Joseph Dillow and others) to support a literal/sexual reading.
• Provide a “teaching trick” (as stated by the speaker):
  • If you want to teach something that could get you in trouble, quote someone else rather than claiming it only as your own idea.

4) Handling “risk” and novelty in the bedroom (especially for husbands)

• Instruction for husbands (explicit):
  • If your wife takes a risk or tries something new, don’t be quiet.
  • Provide positive encouragement (“woo,” “good job,” etc.) to reduce her anxiety.
  • The husband’s role is framed as enthusiastic affirmation, not judgment.

5) Encourage affirming praise as a confidence builder

• In the talk’s example (Song of Songs section five), the husband praises many physical features of the wife.
• Instructional takeaway:
  • Praise helps a wife’s confidence.
  • The speaker frames each spouse as the other’s “standard of beauty.”

6) “Sex menu” framework (practical model)

• Define the “sex menu” as the negotiated set of intimacy behaviors the couple has agreed to try.
• Categories:
  • Appetizers = foreplay
  • Main course = regular, habitual intimacy (“things you do regularly”)
  • Specials = new things to try (discuss and possibly add after testing)
  • Dessert = aftercare and connection (snuggling, back rubs, not “just going to sleep”)
• Instruction:
  • Discuss what stays on the menu (“keep that on the menu”).
  • Have permission to discuss awkward conversations.
  • If someone wants to try something new, talk about it as a “special.”
  • Keep the relationship from getting boring by adding specials and then deciding together whether to keep them.

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“Five spicy sections” highlighted (what each is used to show)

1. Song of Songs 1:2 (wife asks to be kissed)

   • Woman initiates: “Let him kiss me…”
   • Used to argue that wives can lead and express sexual desire.

2. Song of Songs 1:12–4 and related lines (perfume, scent, rest, caressing)

   • Used to illustrate that spouses enjoy each other’s body and physical closeness.
   • Includes the claim that the wife is giving intimate instructions (e.g., where his head/arms are).

3. Song of Songs 2:3–7 (love, intimacy lasting, restraint; “do not arouse”)

   • Used to argue timing boundaries: intimacy is framed as appropriate within marriage, not before.

4. Song of Songs 4:12–5:1 (garden imagery and invitation into intimacy)

   • Husband describes the wife as a private “garden.”
   • Wife invites intimacy in a “come into my garden” metaphor.
   • Used to support the idea of sexual invitation + mutual participation.

5. Song of Songs 6:1–7:10 (husband observes, praises; vulnerability/risk framed)

   • The wife is depicted as dancing/twirling (Mahanaim imagery) and possibly vulnerable.
   • The husband encourages her and praises her body.
   • Used to teach affirmation and enthusiastic response to her novelty/risk.

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Sources / speakers featured (listed at end)

Speakers (people mentioned who speak or are presenters)

• Cole (identified as a person addressed by the speaker; likely co-presenter or host)
• Grace (mentioned as a co-author with the speaker)
• Pastor Mark (mentioned as providing a Bible study interpretation; he is not present in the excerpt but is credited)
• The pastor’s wife (mentioned as saying something supportive about “appetizers”)
• The speaker / main teacher (unnamed in subtitles; gives the talk, uses “we” and “I”)

Scholars / commentary sources quoted or cited

• Joseph Dillow (Bible scholar; quoted regarding an “oral genital caress” / sexual interpretation claim)
• Faith Life Study Bible (study Bible source quoted)
• New Century Bible Commentary (21st century edition) (commentary source quoted)
• “The New Century Bible commentary” (same work referenced again)